Dirty Water

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Dirty water.jpg

Well, how does one start when talking about dirty water? You know, when I think about it I sure get a really nice feeling. For example, the photo above shows some really dirty water that I-now, don't cry-I did lap some of it up with my tongue. The problem is, dirty water can be found almost anywhere. It's so common in fact that many people find it even in their beds along with the bedbugs. I myself found some in my toilet just today. It was murky, and very unpleasant to look at but had an aroma that suggested long periods of being stagnant, unused, and just plain gross.!! I understand your concern with this water, but I cannot help you just go and just please don't say anything.

Fresh Dirty Water[edit]

I am dirtying water as I write this, using a little thing called shit. It comes from below and ends up in the mouth of a shark. And we wonder why people are killed by sharks. Let me tell you that it just went into the toilet. You may find it to be useful to know just how easy the whole thing can be.

The Ocean is a Dirty Cunt[edit]

You heard me. She is, and I know it because I was there; I sat on her face. It was late in the evening and I was just walking home when all of a sudden I saw a house. Well, at the time I didn't quite know what I was going to find in there. I walked inside and I saw the ocean. She was this big fat ugly thing, and she smells like garbage. I guess she was dirty, but it really stank. I felt sorry for her. So I cleaned her up a little bit, then I put on the best clothing and I went, "Hey baby, you want to get nice and"... wait there are kids reading this. I can't say that. Never mind.

Long story short, kids, I fucked the ocean. I know that sounds dirty and untrue and I guess impossible, but I consider penetrating anything with my thingy to be sex. And so, there. I did it but was seriously injured in the end because she had a serious case of the real crabs. A live crab bit me right where it stings and got me into a hospital. Plus, there was dirty water and it felt oily.

The Ocean is also the Ultimate Solution[edit]

*guitar solo*

A long time ago, the ocean was the only thing that humans could count on. Even when we were running around scratching ourselves, it was always there. Now we just FUCKED IT UP SO BAD, HOW CAN WE EVEN DO SHIT WITH IT ANYMORE????!!!!!!

So, the next time you throw away that tampon, be sure to consider bringing it to a recycling facility. Contact me.

The Sink[edit]

Usually, after I shave or something, the sink is pretty nasty, and the water is disgusting. I mean it. It is so fucking disgusting. Usually, there is a green ring around the walls of the sink. Also, I can see some brownish residue around the area where the water hits the porcelain. The shower is worse. Inside the shower, the floor is starting to come apart because the rancid water eats away at the enamel that holds the tiles together. This is a very serious thing, called infroe Dagnall with fake olio in tile bathroom sclerosis. It pretty much has ruined my life. Sometimes, when I go into the shower, I just stand there and look down at the floor and how it is decaying away before my very eyes. It is pretty sad, and it's all because of dirty water. I hope you all see this now.

Drink it nice and good[edit]

Just take a swig. Your fortune cookie said that your life would get better. It's only uphill from the time after you drink that piss water.

I guess you could drink it. I'm not forcing you to, but if you really want a mouthful of ugly, grey liquid then be my guest. A good place to go would be Africa, and in this way, I am not being disrespectful or stereotypical or anything. It is the cold, hard truth that Africa has a lot of ugly, nasty water floating around. It is also surrounded by that fat bitch the ocean, which only makes things worse. She just loves to ruin people's lives by causing big tsunamis and other destructive catastrophes. These sort of things also seem to happen mostly to poorer countries, which makes me think that rich nations like the U.S and Germany are paying her off. She would be just the kind of natural formation to take money from countries, that attention whore.

I suppose power plants have their fair share of polluted water. They dump it in big bogs out back, so if you just hop over the fence and walk down there, you could get a nice big green slimy handful. When putting it to your lips, disregard the smell. This is important because you only need your mouth to get that great taste experience.

You Want the Water on your body[edit]

A drainage ditch, spewing out that fowl stuff.

I am serious. I mean, you need dirty water on your body. It pretty much helps with everything, including your secks life. Think about it, ladies. You want the good men, right? Well, if you pick the guy with the blocked up toilet, you'll get a nice looking man plus dung beetles and little critter friends. See, in this way, you will be able to collect the congealed slime of pollution and waste from his body in a calming, 100% safe mating/bonding ritual that turns your relationship into something that much longer lasting. It will also give you confidence in your career, somehow.

See Also[edit]