Duncan's Closet is where they all hide. THEM! They're all in there! The....the....gargantuan evil space monkeys from Alaska! Or gays. Whatever you want, makes no difference to me really.

Gargantuan evil space monkeys from outer space[edit | edit source]

But they're in there! It's scary! It's like watching a centipede being raped, except instead of a centipede it's a gargantuan evil space monkey from outer space and instead of rape it's not rape. So, uh, it's not at all like watching a centipede being raped.

SHUT UP!

They're in there, and they're trying to get me! THEY WANT TO RAPE ME! And this time it is rape! Except instead of a centipede, it's a millipede. And instead of rape it's rape. WAIT A MINUTE! It's rape! And it's HUGE rape!

THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID![edit | edit source]

Shut up you retard. This is no time for hilarity! AIDS isn't funny, and neither is this! Duncan's Closet is coming for me! I mean the monkeys in Duncan's Closet! NO DON'T OPEN IT YOU -!

Dead[edit | edit source]

Shit. Do you see what you do? Do you see what you do when you exist?

Now I'm dead. And it's all because you opened Duncan's Closet.

Gays[edit | edit source]

Now I don't get to have all the fun with the gays! They're playing Cola Pong and smoking Pixie Stix! Such wholesome folk. Not at all like the

Gargantuan evil space monkeys from outer space, redux[edit | edit source]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Wait, why did I just say redux?