Flying trees

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An artist's impression of a flying tree over the city of Babylon

Flying trees are the second most common species of trees (after spider trees, of course). They can fly, not because they have wings, but because they can fly. That is why they have wings. What they end up as soon when they retire and shed the wings.

Their wings are the fact that they can fly. See the tree? See it fly? It has wings. That makes it fly. The tree with wings, it flies, when it has flying wings on trees above the flies and winging treeness.

In conclusion, don't do drugs.[1]

The Life Cycle of a Flying Tree[edit]

not many flying trees survive puberty

Flying trees have reproductive organs that look similar to that of birds nests, and they hatch out of little eggs that look like acorns, only with little helicopter hats on them. Once they hatch, they will resemble horse larvae, and will graze on molten sponge until they are mature enough, and then fall out of their trees, and take root just long enough to grow to maturity, then they fly away to find other trees with attractive nests in their upper branches to repeat the cycle. Common snacks that they enjoy snacking on are dried, sliced feces from fellow Flying Trees, and 3 year old Cazu Marzu from the highest pine tree in Egypt atop of the great pyramid. If one gets too close to these creatures there is a 123.50% chance of getting Flying Tree phobia. A disease only found in the western ice wall of the world. If one begins to climb and encounters this rare creature they will be granted the gift of this illness. A common theory about these beasts is that they enjoy partaking in the act of space Lagrangian, a strange and unusual sport where the tree who is the tallest is permitted to summon a type of bird called a jaguar (A creature commonly found in cash registers that resemble a shovel) that will be used in playing a soccer-like game. This game not to be confused with one similar where these tree-like creatures are permitted to summon an octopus (A type of stinging zebra that eats kidney stones and is known to disinfect). The flying trees also play hide and seek, where they prance to the ground and pretend to be non-flying trees. The last one to be found in hide and seek increases in size by 0%, and releases its eggs to spread more flying trees like it. Since the winners of hide and seek are the ones to release their eggs, their hiding skills are passed down in their DNA to create more hide and seek masters. Although popular it is uncommon to see these unique creatures play this game for they hate being mistaken for regular trees. It is especially hard for a tree to join this practice for they must join a professional forest (A professional team). They are granted the right to do join by The Great Flying Tree of Flight. When a flying tree dies, it's fluids are released and become a part of the ozone layer. Before dying, a flying tree will seek out one victim, to which they will pull out their hair by the roots using their digestive organs. If one enters the tree's natural sacred habitat the will be entangled by the roots and eaten by the nests. This is an action of offense (commonly mistaken with defense). The Flying Tree's defense is to entangle one with it's branches and then feed it to the nests. It feeds to the nests to increase reproductive activity. The Flying Tree is both male and female so it has xx chromosome and xy chromosomes and can therefore mate with itself, but it is possible for the creature to mate with another. In order to do so the creature must do a mating jig where it spins upside down and flexes its leaves.



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A pretty picture of a flying tree in its natural sacred habitat[edit]

So Preeeeeeeety!


Ever since mathematicians began conservation efforts for this species, more and more have been spotted in their sacred habitat. Flying Trees have been poached for their wings for thousands of years. The wings are sold to birds who then have them surgically attached to their brains. They do this in order to set their brains free for a while but usually, the brains get eaten by the flying pigs. This is why birds are so wise and smart.

So Preeeeeeeety!

Notes[edit]

  1. (Or else the trees will begin to fly and mop the floor with you! Then Chuck Norris will mop the floor with you! Then your arms will be replaced by flippers and you will not be able to speak!

See also[edit]