Forum:Free stuff for people who aren't embarrassed to be seen in public with me

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This user is a Legionnaire for Discontinuity, and has attracted the attention of Observer.

Anyone want one of these? It invokes the All-kaizuming Eye of the Holy Skyhook. Stick it on your user page, LAR Adriator-Gruntled.png(kaizum me)Plant2.png 05:37, 4 Farbleum 2016 (UTC)

But you put them there already. Icons-flag-au.png Operator XY - (Conversal :: Editations - 7,284 and counting!) 02:58, 5 Farbleum 2016 (UTC)
You sticked it on my user page and I mooooved it! --(AMB) (XAR) (BKYE) Sophia, The Resident Uncyclopedia Deity (talk) 21:10, 5 Farbleum 2016 (UTC)
At this point, I'm offering then to anyone who want's one. It's analogous to the Potlatch of the Kwakiutl. LAR Adriator-Gruntled.png(kaizum me)Plant2.png 17:14, 6 Farbleum 2016 (UTC)
Huh? Icons-flag-au.png Operator XY - (Conversal :: Editations - 7,284 and counting!) 22:01, 6 Farbleum 2016 (UTC)
gazpacho. LAR Adriator-Gruntled.png(kaizum me)Plant2.png 06:37, 8 Farbleum 2016 (UTC)
Is the "Huh?" for Potlatch of the Kwakiutl? Because I gave it a link, so one may read about it... Or is it the "analogous" part? On thinking about it, I suppose I should have written "very, extremely loosely analogous". The only similarity is in the giving stuff away, sort of. In the 80s there was a somewhat popular bumper sticker that said, "Whoever dies with the most toys wins". When I recalled Potlatch of the Kwakiutl, which I read in the late seventies for anthropology course, I thought burning the most toys to win is pretty badass. Like when some asshole demands to be paid for something, and you light the money on fire before handing it to him. It makes a point. Mayo and I had conjured three demons; Gazpacho, Wall Street and Lawrence. Lawrence played balalaika beautifully. Initially we'd planned to use the demons to wipe out the 15 meter tall spiders that had taken over our block. I'd left the demons to their own devices as we began to clean up the arachnid guts, and they'd wandered into a liquor store. Wall Street went straight for the MD 20/20 and was bombed in half an hour. The other two made a big deal out of some expensive scotches, as though anyone can pick a scotch, a wine or a lot of other damned things by taste and scent. As the pair became increasingly intoxicated, interest in the topic of hard liquors shifted to whom was most favored by Satan. When a hapless Mayo suggested that perhaps it was some other demon, say, Azazel, most favored by the Liar, a tiny part of Hell was unleashed in that liquor store. It got really quiet, then every bottle in the store exploded, igniting furiously and gushing flames clear across the four lane main street shriveling the vinyl siding of the building directly across. Gazpacho quickly bested Wall Streets fury, pulling a dagger from a hollow space in his right hoof. Quicker than lightning, the bested demon staggered and thrashed, unsure which of several mortal wounds to plug with his hands, bleeding like a chocolate fountain set way too high. Then it was over. The bastards were just gone. Mayo pushed me along the sidewalk and into his Karmann Ghia, darted around to the drivers seat and we were off like a rocket. An old, underpowered rocket. Forty five minutes later I was standing at the lectern at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting... "Hi. My name is Goony Goo Goo and I'm an alcoholic." "Hi, Goony Goo Goo." "I just got here after summoning demons to kill giant spiders, barely escaping with my life. The interesting thing is that the action was centered around a liquor store. That fact didn't dawn on me until I heard a ruckus from inside. In that moment I realized that my Higher Power had guided me to that spot to test my resolve. Something that I share with Nicolas Cage and Walt Disney is the identity of our higher power: that is, a squirrel named Reginald. Naturally it was born transgendered, and has both typed of genitalia, fully formed and operational. Reginald lives at the beach, where she (she prefers to go by "she") runs a day care facility for green, left-handed children. She's a marathon runner, skydiver, motocross champion, bodybuilder and crossword enthusiast. She decides who wins the Superbowl of American football. She decides when a womans period begins. She decides which strains of influenza are prevalent every year. On that day, she telepathically told me that I had to get the hell out of there. She directed me to come to this meeting, even though I never really drank alcohol and don't really care for it. I have to be in the mood. Sometimes a cold beer sounds good, or a glass of sherry, or maybe some Kahlua in coffee, or a shot of ouzo or anisette, or a shot of ginger brandy if I have a bad cold, or something like Amaretto or that hazelnut liqueur... I forget what it's called... so anyway... LAR Adriator-Gruntled.png(kaizum me)Plant2.png 07:39, 8 Farbleum 2016 (UTC)

Secret business to the army?[edit]

What are you doing? XY007 (talk - contribs - business) 01:49, 18 Yoon 2018 (UTC)