Gnu math

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“I've got good gnus and bad gnus... Ha! Seriously 1 good gnu plus 1 bad gnu equals zero.”

~ André Breton on tutoring Oscar Wilde on Gnu Math

Not to be confused with the relatively similar New Math, or the angst ridden Nu Math, Gnu math is a new age maths that manages to employ a system of calculation invented by wildebeest gnus for use in the free gnumeric spreadsheet application, without losing its spiritual edge.

Basic principles of Gnu math include:

  • We sell our software for free and make it up in volume
  • Meditation is the key to opening your software and entering data
  • There are 10 kinds of people, those who know binary and those who don't
  • There are 3 kinds of people, those who can count and those who can't
  • You can always count upon the herd mentality
  • Don't become another statistic; fight the scourge of applied mathematics today

Gnu math is the basis for the precise quantity of calculated evil which goes into every pirated copy of Linux. Used primarily by herds of gnu in migration and scalability calculations, Gnu math uses clever coding to circumvent patent restrictions giving Bill Gates sole ownership of the numbers 1 and 0.


Synanim1.gif This page has received the blessing of The Great Gozimnot of Mathematics, and is therefore mathematically correct.



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