Herman Cain

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Cain preparing an extra large pizza for another batch of pregnant high school girls with a craving

“Bills will be three pages, treaties will fit on the back of a cereal box, and the State of the Union Address will be delivered in the form of a fortune cookie.”

Herman "Double Pepperoni" Cain is a famous pizza delivery boy former Republican Presidential candidate. Cain wanted to devour the capital gains tax like it was a large pizza pie. He says Mushrooms Islam is bad for a kid's pizza America. Cain believes Italian sausage tax cuts are good for America. Sir Cain also supports extra cheese the social values America has held dear such as $10 Pizza Hut Specials marriage being only between one man and one woman. So, you didn't give him you vote for the next Little Caesar President.

If elected, Herman Cain would have the distinction of being America's third First Black President. But racists are going to ruin his chances by revealing to the media that he killed his brother Abel.

Also, the rent is too damn high!

He is not a womanizer.

His campaign was destroyed by some white ginger he had in his closet for 13 years.

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