HowTo:Powergrue

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Have you ever heard of Powergruing? Thought not. But not to worry, for this installment of the Illogi-HowTo guides will tell you all you ever wanted to know and much, much more - in order to encourage you to endanger yourself ever so slightly more!

Powergruing is no less than the art of empowering grues for their own benefit. You probably wonder why you'd want to do that, but no worries; just trust us - it's not only completely safe, but also a very gratifying hobby!

The basics[edit]

First of all, in order to powergrue, you need a suitable grue. This can be either a regular grue or a magical grue, though plain ones may be the most suitable for beginners.

So, procure a grue and place it conveniently within reach. Still ali- err, there? Good. Now, multiply the grue with itself or another grue - the choice is yours - in order to advance the power of the grue to two.

Now, provided the superpowered grue does not eat you instantly... still there? Phew. Good; now, for the next steps...

  • Have the grue register as a citizen in your country in order to entitle it to a vote.
  • Have the grue lead its own political party and gain support from the ignorant masses.
  • Arm the grue, whether with firearms, conkers or arms on fire.
  • Have the grue work out at the local gym.
  • Give the grue a replenishing massage.

And finally, the last step. I'll walk you through this one. Place your empowered grue very near. Done? Good. Now, like I do, turn off the lights, like thi-

...