HowTo:Solve a Sudoku
“Oooh, the man in the mirror can't solve a sudoku!”
“I say sudoku should be annihalated, just like Al-Queda. It contributed to 9/11.”
“I'm stuck in Prison solving a sudoku. I'm really bored and wish I could watch the Simpsons. NEED... SATIRE...”
Well, I don't think you came to WikiHow for quotes. But for being so patient, here is another one...
“Sudoku is not my thing. I grew a pizza from one, but I need to gain weight as my psychiatrist said.”
So, using Internet Explorer, eh? Bill Gates making you eat viruses. You need...
ERROR! ERROR! ERROR! ERROR! ERROR! ERROR! 404: WIKIHOW NOT FOUND YOU WILL NEVER SOLVE THAT SUDOKU BOOK YOUR AUNT BOUGHT YOU FOR CHRISTMAS! HA HA HA! COURTESY OF BILL GATES! $$$$$$$$$$$ NOW GOES TO BILL GATES FOR COMPUTER CRASH. VIRUS CAUSE: SWINE FLU, BARACK OBAMA, COKE SYNDROME Welcome to computer repair! Microsoft had you buy a piece of crap. Here is a Mac for you to try for 30 days. Return in whenever you feel like it. Welcome to Mac, going to sudoku solving on WikiHow.
Welcome back with your Mac. To reward your patience, here is the information needed to solve sudoku.
“Oh, so hard. Why can't I grow a cell phone since I can't afford one.”
Oops, I lied to you. Here is the info.
What you need
1. A sudoku puzzle
2. Ink pen for maximum erasing capibility
3. A Bruce Springsteen record
4. A knowledge of modern love songs
5. A Conservapedia essay
A sudoku is ugly. So that means it contains numbers 1-9. You must fill in numbers 0-12 with guesswork.
1. Guess the first area.
2. Guess the rest of it.
3. Submit it to Rosie O'Donnel in Mars.
4. Let her correct it.
5. Get a reward of fladdies.
6. Break your leg with telekenesis.
Alternatively, put the numbers 1 to 9 randomly in the boxes and pretend to look brainy. Nobody checks them anyway.
Now you can solve sudoku! Be proud and buy yourself a danish!