Bruce Springsteen

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“Tramps like us, baby, we were born to run!”

“Everybody's got a hungry, hungry heart!”

“I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky. All I want is a chicken wing, only ninety-nine cents on E Street”

~ R. Kelly


“He wasn't born in the U.S.A.! Where's his birth certificate?”

Bruce Frederick Joseph Hulk Hogan Fred Flintstone Van Jones Springsteen is a wonder of the world. He shouts and grunts while singing politically activist chants involving Ayn Rand and her book Anthem, with power from Mice on wheels. Springsteen was born on the Berlin Wall in Soviet Russia to an iPod and a hobo with a rather bizarre afterbite. After Bill Gates bought out the new Russian Federation, Springsteen moved to Amerika in order to start a new life grunting for a living. His best hit, ironically, was Born in the U.S.A., a Vietnam War protest.

Early Life[edit]

Springsteen was born during Lent to Mary Joseph and Brickford "Brick" Springsteen. They were a homeless family living in New Jewsey when Nasty King came down the clock.