How Do I Love Thee
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My tool can reach, when thrusting out of sight
I love thee whenever I get a raise.
I love thy fulfillment of everyday's
Most basic need, with my pants straining tight.
I love thee freely (there's still no charge, right?);
I love thee 'til I pass out in a daze.
I love thee with a passion born of lust
In my mind's eye, and with my wanting gaze.
I love thee with a load I fear may bust
Within my loins! — I love thee with a craze!