Kitty Store

Shpencil is a pencil with a Shticky on it. Yes, it's a pencil and a dust roller all in one!

My name is Lee Wu

And I will fight for you.

Want to slap it? Chop it? Tear it? Wash it? Forget about it! Shpencil is what you need for all your writing needs. Write with it. Erase with it. Anything but make it wear heels!

In Soviet Shrussia, pencil writes YOU!

In Soviet Russia you cannot use Shpencil for write. Shpencil write with you! Then when Shpencil done writing, Shpencil erase you. Then you no can go to Ireland where you write with pencil rather than other way round.

Comes in different colours for every mood!

Yes, Shpencil has colours! Even has colors for you Americans because we support everybody's spelling! With Shpencil, you don't have to be satisfied with colourising; you can colourize, colorize, or even colorise, which isn't a word! Yes, I made it up just now.

We not only analyse our ingredients, we analyze them, so they are doubly accurate!

Nerf cars

Let's sell nerf cars!

Pencils don't make much noise. We need to advertise something that makes a lot of noise. Cars are good because they make noise. So now we're selling nerf cars, right? How do you sell nerf cars?

Braid chips

Buy braid chips! Specially made for braiding, you can make wigs out of them and eat them! They taste just like Soylent Green! They even drive nerf cars. Nerf cars can't be driven, you know. Buy nerf cars today! Only $999 at the kitty store! We supply everything you never always wanted! Contact the Kitty Store at 1-800-STUPID-STUFF. Hurry -- offer ends 13 months ago! After that it's not free anymore, except when we forget the price. Then it's free.

Why nerf cars?

Nerf cars are the safest cars in existence, for several reasons:

• Foam rubber (nerf) absorbs shocks better than any other material, even fiberglass.
• Lightweight.
• Completely silent.
• You can't drive it, so no accidents!

Thinking about buying a Corvette? Buy a nerf car instead, it's safer!