Legolas chops off his hand
On the 18th of Jumbly, 2007, Legolas from the movie and book series decided to go emo. (some people thought he was already emo) Legolas went emo because his boyfriend Rod Stewart left him. Rod left Legolas because he wasn't sure if he was gay, this led to him chopping off his toes... but that's a different story.
Legolas's questionable procedure
First, Legolas suddenly shrank into an action figure's size. Next, he sat on a dictionary... and tugged on his hand. After four hours Legolas broke his hand off. Legolas then lay on the ground, fell asleep, and surprisingly died of blood loss, even though he hardly bled.
The Trip of his body
Legolas's body was stolen after the investigators found him. No one knows why. However, with the high tech equipment, the scientists found out what happened after they discovered his body a second time. They found his body being hung by his toes in a local fun house. The body was in the ball pit. The head scientist said, "The body appeared to be about 6 days, 4 hours, 23 minutes, and 48 seconds into decomposition. From the tests on his body, we found that it was stolen from the scene and taken to a pig farm. We know this because of the approximate 6 particles of pig skin and mud on his left index finger. After the farm he was taken to the laundromat. He then was promptly eaten by a bulldog. We know this by our recent studies on what bulldogs consume. On the list was 94% banana peels. And banana peels were the number one substance on his body. By the finger prints we eventually figured out... it was......Mr Blobby who carried away Legolas for unknown reasons."
Explanations From His Friends
- Gimli, the dwarf, said, "uhmm Legolas is an elf, and elves be maggots!"
- Rod Stewart said, "I didn't know hed go that far... and I didn't know I'd go... that....*gurgle* *gasp* *died of bloodloss from losing his toes....*
- Legolas's school guidence counciler said, "I actually... said it was a good idea to slit his wrists, as long as he didn't cut deep.... to let the anger out. I didn't say tug until his hands fell off. It dawned on me that I'll get fired for saying cutting himself was fine..."
- That guy who always claims Star Wars is better than Lord of the Rings said,YAAAAAA 1 down, several more to go!!!!
- Fonchezzz said, "ahem, why are you asking me about his death.... it's not like I did... it to my own action figure..."