Mike
Mike is a crazy old man who lives as a hermit in a top secret underwater lair in the Atlantic Ocean made of balsa wood. He is commonly seen at various Wal-Mart locations in California, USA, North America, although how he gets there is a mystery. In his free time, mike enjoys eating raw seaweed and sticks.
Why he lives down there, I have NO idea. Mike is in possession of 3 types of abnormal things: zebra striped bras, diaper shaped night lights, and a genetically altered giraffe. Many have tried and failed to throw Mike in the wacky shack. Somehow, he pulls weapons out of thin air, which puts the attacker victim at an extreme disadvantage, then they run away tails between their legs (assuming they have a tail, which they probably don't).
Did you talk to Mike yesterday?
Mike
He isn't really around anymore,.