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This article is about Not-Philosophy. For articles on other not-subjects, either make them yourself, or wait for someone else to make them.


Not philosophy originates from a valley in eastern Asia. It was first noticed by Dong Ti, who was sitting under a tree, and suddenly noticed that there was not a tiger sitting in the branches above him. This completely freaked him out. It also cued him to say his famous saying: Look! It's Not there! He then preceded to tell his entire village about his new idea of not-philosophy. However, the village was destroyed two weeks later by a not-tsunami.
Two hundred and seven years later, Dong Ti's book - The Not-Book was found in a cave. The book was translated into two languages(English and N'tsi) From it, many other subjects were developed, such as:

  • N-Math
  • N-Physics
  • N-Chemistry
  • (No one loves Biology)
  • N-Textiles
  • N-Agriculture

The bottom two are not recommended as professions, due to the fact that not-clothes made in not-textiles aren't actually there, and it is very difficult to eat not food, unless you are N'tsian.

Fundamental Principles[edit]

Not-philosophy is the not the opposite of philosophy. It is the discussion and ideology that things that aren't there can be... sort of. Primarily, Dong Ti invented the language N'tsi to cope with the large amounts of words that couldn't be described in the language of where ever Dong Ti lived. From translating The Not-Book we can see that Not-Philosophy(N-Phil.) has six major concepts:

1. Cogilli[edit]

Effectively 'Illogic' or 'Not-Logic' is the ability to comprehend what is implied in the other five concepts. Failure to manage the first concept will result in total bewilderment in what is said in concept six. To give you an idea as to where Colligi comes into everyday usage, on a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is completely random and 10 is painfully logical, Colligi comes at sqrt(-1), which is an imaginary number. No valid test has been made to define Colligi, although not crying while reading the appendices of The Not-Book is considered your best bet.

2. Estoppo[edit]

Colligi is understanding things, Estoppo is recognising them. For example, a person would say: "Look! There is no steam coming from that coffee. It is cold." A person with Estoppo would say: "Look there is not-steam coming from that coffee. It is not-hot." This may also seem like "negating the obvious", but one can negate the obvious without Colligi, whereas Colligi is essential for Estoppo.

3. Frincles[edit]

Sometimes known as Frinculation, this is basically the questioning of what has been said in Estoppo. Using our previous example, the following outcomes could be made: N-steam = N-hot, N-steam = cold, N-coffee = steam, coffee = N-steam. There are many more complicated outcomes, but they would be long and boring to list. As an N-Philosopher, Dong Ti spent many hours, even days, in the process of Frinculation. Many pages of The Not-Book consist entirely of all the possible outcomes of a single, everyday scenario.

4. Dass[edit]

Dass is the most unusual concept. It's origins are not entirely known, but Dass is divided into two minor concepts: Dass-O and Dass-M. As the more observant reader may have noticed, O and P are adjacent to 'N' in the alphabet. These represent thinking about things that are either (Dass-M) not quite 'not' something or (Dass-O)to'not' something. Again, like the other concepts, it is difficult to explain in English, but a N'sti transliteration would serve better.

5. Iypus[edit]

This concept is not ignored. Usually this is because five concepts is better than six, due to hierarchy of numbers. It is also because it is considered an entire waste of time to modern N-Philosophers. Iypus is the compilation of the opposite and N-opposite of what has been achieved in


The sixth concept has been omitted. This is because it was never there. It was not there.