Polygamy

      Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Mormons?

“Polygamy is the ultimate upsell.”

~ Jesus on Polygamy

“Monogamy, more like Monopoly”

~ Hugh Hefner on Monogamy

In an MSNBC Interview with Rachel Maddow Three of Harry Reid's wives explain that if Harry ia not re-elected to the US Senate, they will sell their hair to cancer patiants to help pay the bills.

How would you like six women at once? Damn right, right? Well, that's an orgy. You're reading the wrong damned article. Still thinking about polygamy? Well, read on...

How would you like six women at once ... bitching at you because you're not spending enough time with your 24 sons and daughters!! That's polygamy, dumbass.

Polygamy is marriage to a factor of, well, however many screaming harpies you can stand. Polygamy happens for a lot of reasons. There is court-ordered polygamy for men that don't pay child support. There is accidental polygamy, that can occur at birth. There is Mormonism, a variant of paranoid schizophrenia. And there is being Wilt Chamberlain. Plus there is Islam, but that's censored, so stop right there.

How it works

Basically, a man is too horny to have just one wife so he gets a bunch, and his wives are stupid bitches who care more about having mutilated children, so they dont mind having a husband who never sees them and they know he is fucking a bunch of other women he owns. its fuckin' wrong and those children would be taken away from them. I now it, you know it, and they know it. you can run away to Utah, but you can't run away from the truth!

Here is a more detailed description:

Of course no man wants to get married. That would just be dumb as long as you still have one hand! But, how does a man get married to seven women all at once? Well I'll tell you.

Typical Tuesday night in Colorado City, UT. A single Mormon family loads the busses to go to the "Kids eat free" buffet at Circus Circus in Las Vegas.

Let's say you're walking down the street. You see a really hot chick and she's kind of making eyes at you. You casually ask her if she would like to engage in some brutal heterosexual anal. She says, "Not without a wedding ring!"

Then she turns to walk away, and you see her ass in nice, tight white pants. Suddenly, this wedding ring doesn't sound like such a bad idea. So, you ask her to come back and you propose marriage. She flutters and giggles, and pretty soon you're married.

The next day she decides to introduce you to her friends. Most of them are pigs. Nasty pigs. But one is kind well... HOT and really takes care of herself. Not stacked, but just nice. So, you decide to ask her if she has ever tried a threesome. And she says, "Not without a wedding ring!"

And you walk away dejected. You're first thought is, "Stupid fucking wedding rings!!! I already put one on white pants, nice ass girl... what now!"

Sure enough, you sit down in the afternoon, and there is a commercial for the Mormons. Whoa! PROBLEM SOLVED!!! Mormonism it is!

So, you convert to Mormonism, without informing your first wife. You marry her nice looking friend. Sure enough, one of her bridesmaids is smokin' hot. What is a man to do?! Well, you're Mormon, now. You do what any man would do: you propose marriage to her too.

By nightfall, you decide it is time to break all the news to your first wife. Surprsingly she takes it well.

"Goddammit, Chuck! why didn't you tell me before!"

"Are you joking? We've only been married two days. Not even two full days! What the fuck are you talking about?!"

Now that you have three wives we can all do it."

"Alright"(Wipe that drool off)

This article was too bizarre for Uncyclopedia,   but Illogicopedia loves random stuff.

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