Pop

This article was too bizarre for Uncyclopedia,   but Illogicopedia loves random stuff.

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Due to an incident involving Wowbagger The Infinitely Prolonged, a parcheesi board, a modified Colt 45, and a caribou, certain backwards cultures have been led to believe that this is the proper label for a sweetened, carbonated beverage. In reality, pop is a breed of pony often mistaken for pirates and the province of Newfoundland, used to develop helium and insanity in individuals. Typical problems are as follows:

Prove or disprove the following statements:

1. $IF$ It was my party,

$THEN$

I would cry if I wanted to.

$IF$

I was a wealthy girl

2. I would be the king of Spain.

$AND$

Now I eat humble pie.

$THEREFORE$

Sixteen by thirty-two.

3. NOBODY loves Raymond.