Helium makes your voice sound like this.
I mean, look at that guy. He sucked 11,839 canisters of helium, and now his voice exploded. Yes, that's right. It exploded.
And it sent lots of fragments of broken pottery flying straight into the balloons. Ouch.
Ouch, if you're a balloon...
Contrary to its name, helium does not heal people.
Helium erodoxis, and how to measure it[edit | edit source]
You measure helium, like all other elements, on the Panopticon View Scale. This is not a musical scale, nor is it a weighing scale. It's a lizard scale.
You bother it with dogs.
You bribe it.
You eat it when it complains that it doesn't live in a first world country.
But does that matter? Yesno... I mean noyes.
Helium is a terrible singer, because people eat it at karaoke bars. So they can sing worse, because that's the trend.