Sabden Witchcraft was invented today for purposes unknown, by a group of retarded internet Nazis, cosponsored by the NAACP, NAFTA, "Peaches" McElroy and the Sicilian Mafia Benevolent Society of Witchita Falls. Loosely based on Wicca, Minneapolis mens room antics and Scientology, practitioners gather every 19 days to consecrate the Holy Mayo. On these days, they perform bizarre rituals involving sand and vaseline. Special robes made from sheeps testicles and beef rings are warn by ordained leaders of the faithful, called Visigoths.
Ahem... ah, well, there was this gaggle of dramaturges that got together Wednesday last, and haggled with a grease merchant over the prices of premium goop. Things got heated, until the waitress walked in, shouting obscenities about the Queen, and how she's all hoity-toity up in that palace, sipping on onion beer and tittering with her royal guests at the jesters being systematically flogged by the 'Prime Minister and his staff. The whole place fell dead silent, like nothing I've ever experienced in all my years on this cursed planet. A monk in the corner cleared his throat, and softly said, "Pork loin is on sale at Demoulas, $1.87 a pound.". The crowd swelled as one toward the front exits. Three gerbils were squeezed to death before Constable Garbanzo appeared on the scene, calling for a rousing, "sieg heil!" from all directions.