Salad

A salad is a vegetarian dish made out of various dead vegetables.

[operatic screaming]

Get away from me you green, leafy menace!

Preparation

Take a few tentative steps towards the salad bar and collect your ingredients. Avoid lettuce if it appears to have Scott Browned. Place all contents into a blender and stare intently. Upon serving, dropping the salad may also result in dropping your lucky screwdriver. Presentation is key during the serving process. Go ahead and pour your salad into a coffee mug, because if anything's going to shatter into a million pieces if it falls off the counter, it's you.

Storage

When storing salad, ensure to refrigerate it inside an airtight container in the case that it may grow mould and plastic flies.

See also

• Radish
• Bean sprouts
• Oh noes!!! There's AIDS in my salad!