Stop The Tide! (Sand Castle Protection Society)

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Without your support great architecture like this could be lost forever!

Stop the Tide! is a movement dedicated to stop the threat waywaid oceans pose to millions of innocent sand castles worldwide. Stop the Tide! take the view that discriminating a castle's prestiguousness based on what material they're made out of, or what size they are, is an unlawful traversty of justice that must be stopped. Or at least slowed down to a manageable walking pace. If elected, the group propose to declare all sand castles everywhere as world heritage sites.

The Castle Protection Initiative[edit | edit source]

Their first step to prevent the tide wreaking its usual havoc upon the settlements (all military action on the sea so far has had little impact) would be to take vast sums of money would be taken out of the Third World's health budget and use it to construct expensive coastal defences wherever danger was present. Next, wet sand would be imported from China so that restoration experts could painstakingly repair damaged sand castles to their former glory, erecting new fortresses of silicon where the sandy foot print of a 3 year old once stood. And, finally, a dedicated task force of SAS elite would be commissioned to patrol the world's coastlines, shooting anyone who even looked like kicking one over.

Once the castles' short term security had been secured Stop the Tide! would then begin work on its main aim: destroying the moon. Though the organisation's nuclear division is currently little more than a fat man with a pulled back elastic band, they one day hope to build a large enough arsenal to knock the moon into Mars; intiating an interstellar game of ping pong that ends with us free from tidal effects and Jupiter stalking off in a huff.

Supporters[edit | edit source]

Among its few supporters is Wikipedia who have already declared their allegiance by deleting their article on the moon with the hope that one day the real thing will follow suit. A curious side effect of which, much to the aggravation of the authorities, are endless numbers of calls from concerned idiots who don't know what the moon is, and are worried it might want to hurt them.

Oh, hey ... how did this get on here?

“For the last time asshole, it's the moon!”

~ Police OFficer

“Pfft, yeah, like wikipedia would be wrong about earth not having a moon.
No but seriously what is it? Is it really made of chocolate?”

~ Caller

Other than that Stop The Tide! are a pretty ordinary bunch of people. They enjoy the game of billiards, Agatha Christie novels, and long walks on the beaches, wait, no, not long walks on the beaches, - shooting people taking long walks on the beaches. Shooting them good. Yeah.

See Also[edit | edit source]