The Two-Legged Man

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“He's a freak.”

~ André Breton on the Two-Legged Man

Yes, there is such thing as a two-legged man. And the strange this is he was born that way. Yeah. He's a freak. A mutant. An alien. The two legged man must die.

He's a freak. Everyone agrees.

Everyone hates him[edit | edit source]

He is the social outcast. Nobody likes him. He's just a... freak. Get it? I mean, he sticks out. He's unique. Different. That means he must die. We can't stand to have differences. The two-legged man is a freak and therefore should meet his gruesome fate within the next twenty seconds. Hopefully you brought a chainsaw so you could chop off his head.

I mean, what would you do if you saw a guy with two legs? Make him an internet star because he's has a huge genetic mishap? No fucking way, you would throw him into nuclear waste to see what would become of him. Maybe he would get the leg back.

His death is near[edit | edit source]

People tried to assassinate him right out of the womb. The doctor saw him and pulled out a scalpel, but the freak's mom showed the doctor her tits and distracted him, throwing the baby out the window into a bird's nest where he was excepted and raised like that kid from jungle book.

Ever since he has been on the run, but the birds forced him to school where he was constantly shot at and had knives coming at him. Somehow he survived. So what you need to do is kill people with two legs. They are a disgrace to society. Having three legs is a sign of dominance! Even if one of them doesn't do anything. It's just there. Weird. Anyway, kill everyone with two legs!!!!! It's the only way this country can survive! The world is a better place without those two-legged freaks! Kill them all!!!