The truth they didn't want you to find out
Hello. My name is [vanity removed]. As an Illogicopedian Officer Of The Truth, I feel it my duty to inform you of a truth that they don't want you to find out. But you will, because I'm going to tell you now.
Before you find out[edit | edit source]
You might not be ready to hear this. Your eyes might explode inside your head, and your brain may melt. Before you learn, tape your eyes to your head to prevent explosion and plug your ears with $20 notes to prevent your brain dripping out of your ears.
You may also want to soundproof your room and quite possibly your house, for the magnitude of the scream that comes out of you when you find out might cause an earthquake.
It's time to find out[edit | edit source]
Your secret is *deep breath*...
Are you ready?
Oh wait, you already knew that? Oh, right, well fork you then.