“Heh heh heh.”
A toaster is an evil device. It was designed by Satan and forged in the ninth circle of Hell.
The toaster is evil[edit | edit source]
The toaster is evil.
I just know it.
Something with that type of power couldn't be harmless.
And everyone knows that if you put something metal into a toaster then you'll get electrocuted .
So why don't I just destroy it?
I'll tell you.
It has a lifetime warranty.
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- Throughout history toasters have played a significant role in various atrocities.
- A toaster was what convinced Lee Harvey Oswald to start parting his hair on the left side.
- During World War 2 toasters were used to convert old penny dreadful novels into steamed asparagus casseroles.
- Toasters had a major impact on Osama Bin Laden's diet drug pyramid scheme.
- Toasters are the reason Mega Man games are so difficult.