Top Ten Things I Would NOT Do for a Klondike Bar
We all have our limits, don't we? I mean, I'd sure as hell steal candy from a baby or push a cow over in the middle the night without batting a single eye for a Klondike Bar. Heck, I'd even impregnate Bcbkye with my finger on the button that launches nukes bound for Illogia for a Klondike Bar! But these things... these things... these things are just straight up NOPE all around.
- Become a telemarketer for Ralph Spreadsheet
- Hug and kiss my mother
- Refuse to "wrap it" before I "tap it"
- Listen to a soothing piano piece
- "I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER"
- Give my best effort
- Get accepted into a prestigious Californian university
- Edit Illogicopedia
If you're thinking, "This guy is pretty sane!" then clearly, you have had a Klondike Bar.
...Unless you have any Magnum Chocolate Bars lying around in the freezer-
TAKE MY GODDAMNED MONEY YOU EVIL LUNATICS!!!