Uninformation

This article was too bizarre for Uncyclopedia,   but Illogicopedia loves random stuff.

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Uninformation is a primitive form of speech that is definitely not information. Examples of speech involving uninformation: 'The', 'a', 'an', 'purple', 'Wednesday' and 'Pinkleberries'. None of these show any type of information, correct or otherwise. It is therefore widely accepted that uninformation is lethal to all things (except the Cosmopolitan Blob Snake) and should not be allowed to contaminate any information, misinformation, unformation or disinformation. However, having read the previous examples, you are now dead. Nice knowing you.

20th Century

Two great wars occurred in the 20th century, both over a small dispute about uninformation, in which up to 198 billion humans were killed, primarily because they insisted on reading the uninformation themselves. The uninformation simply read 'Fatal Error' and left nobody with any idea what it meant. They were, of course, already all dead. The wars came to a close in 1918 and 1945 respectively and the uninformation was blown up with a Fat Man and a Little Boy. Scholars theorize that they may have been half of the comedic duo Laurel and Hardy and Bart Simpson, though this has never been proved.

Applications

The Chinese military experimented with uninformation as a weapon in the 2080s. This resulted in the 46th Grand War of China, in which 'Jesusland' and a small pineapple sandwich invaded the country. Another 14 trillion deaths resulted from this assault, which has been condemned in recent times as bloody stupid.

Other than politics, uninformation is often used by women. Sentences like - I wish I found a guy just like you, you are so nice, it doesn't matter, the famous nothing, see you later, maybe, hahaha, I was at my friend's house - all mean absolutely nothing or opposite, yet still not something.

If this article were Uninformation, then it would not be here. But it is Uninformation, because it is here. Discuss the ensuing paradox.