User:Taxworm/Urosh from Vietnam

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Introduction - a small haiku[edit | edit source]

This is the story
of the poor, poor boy Urosh
born in Vietnam.

The unlucky kid,
poisoned by a herbicide,
came out in the war.

The herbicide was
a disgusting poison known
as Agent Orange.

Urosh had many,
many troubles with his life
due to this toxin.

One of the troubles
was keeping his sanity,
he did not succeed.

He, instead, became
something nobody wanted;
he became insane.

He has turned into
a monster; a godless child
that he is today.

Chapter 1: The ћ letter[edit | edit source]

The ugly Urosh Rankovich,
the uglier, the better,
doesn't know how to write
the "ћ" letter.

This little letter
is in the Cyrillic writing.
It doesn't exist in Vietnam,
so that's the reason why's he struggling.

If you don't know that letter,
just say it like "tch",
make it a little sweeter
and there you get it, ћ!

But how do you write it?
It's easy as pie!
Write an "h", add a dash
and you've written the sign.

Now that you've succeeded,
you should be very proud
because you are better
than this Vietnamese trout.

Chapter 1.1: Teapot[edit | edit source]

You know how to write,
while he does not,
most likely because
he is a teapot.

I am a teapot,
He is, for sure,
always saying.

I am very
short and stout.
Tip me over
and pour me out.[1]

Sip, sip, sip,
slurp, slurp, slurp.
I drank so much tea
that I'm starting to burp!

In China it is polite
to burp at the table,
Urosh does the same
because he is able.

He is able to be
an uncultured swine,
I am going to
break his spine.

We have tried
explaining to him
that it is unpolite
and that it's a bad whim.

Alas, he didn't want
to listen to us,
and just started screaming

Chapter 1.2: Amogus[edit | edit source]

the impostor is sus.
I am sitting
in the bus.

Urosh is standing
at the end,
I saw him
exit from the vent.

He has vented,
a crewmate is bleeding,
I am calling
an emergency meeting!

This guy right here
is the impostor,
here is the proof:
he has herpes zoster!

His mouth is red,
and red is sus,
Let's kick him out
from the bus!

Urosh, he is
now ejected,
we figured out that
he is infected.

He was the impostor,
yes, indeed,
but not only he has herpes zoster,
he also has covid!

Covid is a
dangerous virus,
it is more dangerous
than Miley Cyrus.

Same thing goes
for Rankovich Urosh,
he is very dangerous,
oh my gosh!

Chapter 2: The danger[edit | edit source]

Danger, danger
Urosh is the danger.
He loves dressing
like a power ranger.

His favourite ranger
is the red one,
probably because that
is the color of blood.

Blood is precious,
blood is nice,
my favourite deodorant
is Old Spice.

Old Spice removes
Urosh's smell,
because it's like
a healing spell.

Urosh smells
like orange tea,
and that is a really
bad smell to me.

I hate that smell,
I hate it a lot,
1984 Summer
Olympics boycott.

Danger, danger
Urosh is the danger.
He loves dressing
like a power ranger.

Urosh is the
one who knocks,
he has very
small buttocks.

It may seem
that I am gay,
but that's just the magic of poetry,
I would say.

Chapter 2.1: I'm not gay[edit | edit source]

I'm not gay,
I must confess,
if you don't agree,
you can put me on the test!

I will always be ready
to prove myself true,
but I am not gay,
the wrong side is you!

I'm not homosexual,
I will never be.
The modern sex culture
is unknown to me.

I haven't had sex
in, like, 30 years![2]
That is, exactly,
since my birth.

Yes, I am a virgin
and I am not ashamed,
because I am not
the one to be blamed.

The God is the one
that gave me bad looks,
my favourite video
is Too Many Cooks.

But, nonetheless,
I am not gay,
and I won't be,
even if you pay!

Chapter 2.2: Maybe I am gay[3][edit | edit source]

A shocking discovery
happened today
and I will forever
hate this day.

I thought it was
extremely hot
when I saw Urosh
doing squats!

His round ass,
those booty cheeks,
I immediately wanted
to give them a lick.

So, just like that
up was my dick,
I was aroused
by that stupid prick.

Maybe I am gay
after all?
Is this the reason that,
when I see a hot chick, my penis remains small?

Is it really
this bad?
I am very,
very sad.

I discovered
that I'm homosexual,
why is that
information factual?

But I think only
about Urosh today,
might he be
my best prey?

Chapter 2.3: Not gay at all[edit | edit source]

Today I figured out
that I'm not gay at all,
I saw Urosh's face
and I was appalled.

His face was so ugly,
that I had a sudden urge,
I pooped in the toilet,
he is such a purge[4].

He is so amazing
when I have to shit,
I get my phone
and look at his pic.

It makes me poop out
three whole pounds,
then my ass
has a lot of wounds.[5]

And four days ago,
when I was on the streets,
I saw a really,
really hot chick!

Just like that,
I was aroused,
and I asked the girl
to be my spouse.

But the girl said:
"I'm already taken!"
When she said that,
the anger was awaken.

I was so angry
for 2 whole hours,
but then I figured out
that the love is ours.

I noticed some signs
that she liked me a lot,
at least I didn't look
like a total NPC bot.

References[edit | edit source]

This is
the references tab,
I wrote it
while driving in a cab.

You can see
all the links
that made me
write down the things.

But are they just things?
Could they be something else?
What would happen
if the links were not in absence?

Would I realize,
would this change?
I find links
to be very strange.

But at least they are helpful,
at least they are friendly,
they helped this poem
come to an ending.

You can also see
some helpful notes
which would help understand
the poem and what not.

And after lots
and lots of thought,
with the help of these references
this poem has been brought.

  1. 1.0 1.1 418 I'm a teapot
  2. That is not the author's real age. It's a fictional character
  4. A laxative, from the word purgative.
  5. Yuck.