Thank you for your research on trees.
Welcome to ?pedia! Hope you enjoy your stay. Please leave your nouns in the locker room
(behind the the door marked "LOLCHEESE")
So anyway, this is a pseudo-official greeting from a user who may or may not be an admin/sysop/werewolf, so here come the obligatory links to pages to help you out and tell you "Don't be teh vandal kthx":
- Our beginner's guide is here
- If you want more info on ?pedia, 'tis right here, and in case you've come from Wikipedia, Uncyclopedia or some other "humour" wiki, we also recommend that you understand how ?pedia is different from other wikis
- A less sensible explanation of our beloved 'pedia is here
- Our general disclaimer is not here, but here --> LOOKIE
- Don't be afraid to visit us on
IRC DISCORD
The rules, such as "ROFL KILL THE BABIESN'T PLZN'T (notn't)" are here. People breaking the rules will have a koala thrown at them, and may also possibly receive a Chinese burn.
So, that's all for now... Please be nice, make great articles and help contribute to our community in any way possible: e.g. template making, voting for articles or users, et cetera.
~ The Illogicopedia Welcoming Committee
“NO ACTUALLY, YOU'RE TERRIBLE AND WE HOPE YOU DIE.”
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Whether it's through compulsory community service for crimes we won't go into or just personal choice, you've just joined illogicopedia. First and foremost, may I take your coat *rifles through the pockets*.
This greeting if not nailed to your forehead (or applied forcefully with No More Nails) is most likely from an admin/werewolf/Jonas the Happy Vandal/Sysop which makes it excellent, so RELAX. Now we're all relaxed, I'll quickly get through the bits you need to know (rules and where to go etc, and my bribe of course):
- If you're actually a vandal then prepare to be squashed by an oversized novelty sandal.
- If you're a complete beginner to wiki's then you may want to click here.
- If you're nibbling on any cheese or cookies at the moment, STOP!
...Hammer Time! Those are for Santa - our resident stuttering old perv.
- Just so you know what we're about (the life drawing class is left of that pop-up) I'd advise clicking here. I have to emphasise the section "In comparison to other wikis", just incase you're a fleeing uncyclopedia/uncycling flea user etc.
- Any featured work will be rewarded with a gold star (to put on your Christmas tree) whilst any !$"?@#!1*&!! work will be rewarded with a swift slap to the chops.
- If you turn out to infact be a brilliant user and aren't at this point laughing at the huge crater you've made where the Illogia once stood then you could be elidgible for Writer of the Month (or at least an unofficial Insane/Dedication award). If all else fails drink holy water and watch as a big hole-y forms through your heart.
- If it all goes horribly wrong and the police find your stash of Nuclear warheads, have broken into your house, and the ghost busters are unavailable then you should probably franticly claw for help in the direction of these guys.
- If you want to wear a funny wig and sit in a house full of commoners or lards then a political party membership may be for you. I recommend the Strangled Cats party.
- When we finally figure out you're the user that keeps stealing our pocessions we're going to need to keep in touch with you (so we can get a clear shot at ya :P). So please feel free to leave comments on user's talk pages or our sparkling forum. You can talk to us directly on our IRC chatroom.
- Now all that's left is the complimentary welcoming mint, and my bribe. £<insert number with more zeroes than Binary Code at the end of it here> please. Make all cheques payable to hell.
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CG098 (talk ☼ contribs) 14:35, 21 Yoon 2023 (UTC)
- Thank you for the helpful guide. I'll start writing a bit of illogic every now and then, while fanning my microwavable light bulbs lest they turn into pulp! --.lte (talk) 11:40, 22 Yoon 2023 (UTC)
- Great! I'm expecting great illogics from you! (One of my microwavable light bulbs turned into pulp once. It was a sad day.) CG098 (talk ☼ contribs) 16:52, 23 Yoon 2023 (UTC)
- Yeah, thinking about how many self-confident "facts" ended up proven as falsehoods, and how many more lived as elaborate lies, I want to temporarily step away from logic and embrace chaos. That's so out-of-place for this site, I guess :) --.lte (talk) 20:02, 24 Yoon 2023 (UTC)
- I think chaos is ok, but you might want to ask the bees just to make sure. CG098 (talk ☼ contribs) 05:13, 25 Yoon 2023 (UTC)
- I went to ask the bees, and they responded by dancing on the tips of my hair. Only by using the smoke from frying gummy bears did I got them off. They did bring chaos to my hairstyle, so I think that means yes ☑ --.lte (talk) 21:10, 25 Yoon 2023 (UTC)
- ...and don't forget to take your EpiPen. Wait, you're back already? CG098 (talk ☼ contribs) 05:08, 26 Yoon 2023 (UTC)
- Oh, I did forgot the EpiPen. But yes, my new hairstyle took on an aerodynamic shape, so I went faster than usual. --.lte (talk) 15:21, 26 Yoon 2023 (UTC)
