What if Dexter Morgan's monologue suddenly started replying to itself?
Tonight's the night...
...Well isn't tonight always a night?
Eh yes I suppose so, anyway, it's gonna happen again and again...
...Does it have to? I mean, I live inside your head mate. I can't say "it", seems terribly fun.
YES IT MUST, Now you gonna let me tell the story or do I have to do "it" to you too?
But I live in your head, wouldn't that be self-murder?
*Angry muttering* Anyway before I'm interrupted again HAS TO HAPPEN!...
...But it doesn't.
Shut it, you're ruining the eeriness of the moment!
Oh right sorry...
*Ahem*, as I was saying... Nice night, Miama is a great town...
...Isn't it just? All the beaches, bitches and booze.
HEY, I'm telling the story remember!
Oh yeah, sorry.
I love the Cuban food, Pork sandwiches, my favorite...
...Really?! Mine too, we have so much in common!!
Well, duh, you live inside my head. Please don't bore the audience with your statements of fact!
I just thought we could be friends *sad pouting*
*Shaking head while facepalming* But I'm hungry for something different now...
...What? Ice-cream? Popcorn? Hotdogs? Curry? Eeeeeeeeveryone loves a good curry.
It's not food related you pleb! That much was implied in the whole eerie scene! Carrying on...
*Insert chore music*
There he is...
...Who is?...
...Mike Donovin and if you interupt me again I'll stab you with an icepick
Oh, such threaten, much scare, wow.
Did you just f*ckin doge me?
Don't look at me pal, I'm just a figment of your imagination
I have a complete psychotic breakdown and I have to share my brain with THIS pleb... Now where was I? Miama, pork sandwiches ah yes my good friend Mike He's the one...
Did he win I prize?
Maybe if you shutup, you'd know!
*Mike walks to his car*
*Car door opens and Mike takes his seat*
*Suddenly... ...Piano wire*
You're mine now so do exactly as I say...
...Ohhhhhh, thats kinky
What are you even on? You may be into that dominance sh*t but I'm not! I'm a serial killer, not a sick freak!
Oh, my mistake, sorry mate.
*More angry muttering*
*Mike asks what I want*
I want you to be quiet...
...Hey! That's not very nice!
Neither is choking him with piano wire! Neither is constantly interrupting!
I'm just saying, I thought Mike was your friend!
NO you imbecile! As the mafia would say "I'm taking him for a ride". Continuing on Now drive...
...Now drive, PLEASE!
Fine, Nice drive PLEASE *bitter anger*
Mike drives for a while
Turn here...
...To the left, to the left...
That was a terrible song AND he turned right!
Hey it wasn't that bad, was it?
It bloody sucked! Continuing on...
*Car stops and everyone gets out, Mike gasps for a bit*
Ok you have to listen, and do what I say...
You suuuuuuuuure this isn't gonna erupt into an X rated scene?
Yes I'm bloody sure, stop saying that dude, it's seriously not ok!
I suppose not, please continue...
Wow, he's letting me...
*Mike gets dragged inside*
Look...
*Blunt refusal*
LOOK!
Well maybe he doesn't wanna! Did you think of that punk?!
THAT'S NOT THE POINT!!! TERRIBLE ISN'T IT?! OPEN YOUR EYES AND LOOK! AT WHAT YOU DID!
Hey settle down, there is no need for raised voices...
You know what else there wasn't a need for? Your birth
OHHHHHHHHHH DAMN, APPLY ICE TO BURN
Look or I'll cut your eyelids right off your face...
...Wow, I don't think there is a need to escalate this into violence...
...When did you become the f*cking Dalai Lama???
Since you threatened Mike >:|
MOVING ON...
Mike Pleads for mercy and that Dexter needs to understand that he can't help himself
*heh* Trust me I definitely understand, you see I can't help myself either...
...Dexter! Don't talk about your eh... sexual habits...
WHAT??!! I never was, I was ironically empathizing with him you twat!
Das rude :(
*Ahem* But children I could never...
WHAT??? CHILDREN??? NOT OK!
That's exactly the poi... Oh Simpson, can't you go 5 minutes without humiliating yourself?
Wat...
Never mind... Not like you, never. Ever. Kids.
Mike is confused
...I have standards
Suddenly, Etorphine injected!
Mike collapses
Well... That escalated quickly...
Shut it... He's regaining consciousness Soon. You'll be packed into a few neatly packed hefties in my own small corner of the world...
...The world doesn't have corners it's rounds, ha, I got you there.
I... You... Why... What?
It's round, round things don't have corners...
...AND the world will be a neater, happier place. A better place.
Picks up powersaw
Dexter what you doin'? Dexter stahp!!!1
No actual Mikes were harmed in the making of this production.
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