Clothing
Clothing refers to any number of items that can be used to increase your skills beyond what is physically possible. For instance, gloves may often be used to increase your dexterity and boots may increase your speed, while fish scales sown into a shirt help you to respire underwater.
Clothing, a history[edit | edit source]
Interestingly, the effect of clothing on charm is often opposite for men and women. This is mostly due to the 'less is more effect' (with respect to clothing) affecting women and have the converse affect on straight men men.
Clothing is frowned upon in many developed countries such as that damp island near France and that big place to the left of it where they wear cowboy hats. In fact[citration needed] , in many of the centres of fine art (Scotland, Yorkshire etc) it is considered a deep offence to wear anything more un-revealing than a pair of ankle socks or tights (but not at the same time) This crime is punishable with death by hanging from the tootsies off Big Ben.
Clothing sizes[edit | edit source]
Clothing comes in many sizes, See the diagram left.
Small[edit | edit source]
Small is well, to put it one way, er, too small for you.
Medium[edit | edit source]
Medium is average sized, if your just right, you want medium. Extra medium is for averagly average people.
Normal[edit | edit source]
This size is a waste of time because no person is normal, you're all freaks! What were you thinking??? You're not normal!!! You're too unique for this size. No, seriously.
Large[edit | edit source]
"Big Boned" people wear this size, its a classic size that fits most of the world, fatties, people who are not starving wear this size.
American[edit | edit source]
This size is designed for people who have to go to special shops in anywhere other than America. American is so big you may as well wear a tent. It has been known for people to drown in this amount of clothing
Different types of clothing[edit | edit source]
In the modern world of fashion clothing has outstripped its use as merely a piece of cloth which inproved one's abilty. There are now many different types of clothing.
Overwear[edit | edit source]
Worn over the skin.
Shirt[edit | edit source]
The shirt is a garment often worn on the upper torso of a human being. Often people can get confused with the difference between human beings and shirts. The shirt is the ultimate "im lazy" fasion statement.
Trousers/Pants[edit | edit source]
Pants are an insidious mind control device foisted upon an unsuspecting populace by a trouser-wearing theocracy. Those who refuse to submit to the rule of pants may find themselves unemployed or even imprisoned for some silly thing called "public indecency."
Skirt[edit | edit source]
Similar to trousers only that there is no seat. Wearers are often allowed to sit on buses and trains as a result. Men often give up the seats in their trousers so that a skirt wearer may sit down, in the hope of getting a look. Nice and breezy. Scotish people have a version of the skirt called a kilt which is trationally worn without the undergarments beause the material is rough and the wearer enjoys the feeling.
Underwear[edit | edit source]
Underwear is so called because it was worn under the skin, as opposed to overwear which was worn on the outside of the skin.
Boxer[edit | edit source]
A larger style of underwear which allows freedom of the jangles, roomy. Not to be confused with an athlete Boxer so called because he fights in his boxers.
Brief[edit | edit source]
These underwear are only around for a couple of days before vanishing mysteriously. These guys don't hang around. There is another varient of the Brief called a Y-front, named after the large Y printed on the front, intended to distinguish the wearer as male (given their y chromosome).
Corset[edit | edit source]
Old type of underwear which can be applied to both sexes. This is usually done by parallel inserting whalebone or steel wires under the waist area skin, fixing them there and shrinking the skin between them to generate squish. Another way to do it is to put external special leather corset very tight, and expose it to the intense summer heat, so it merges with skin to produce the same effect as in first method.
In both ways, corset quickly becomes integral part of body and it is impossible to take it of or even to loosen it a bit, it is only possible to irreversibly tighten it even more.
Thong[edit | edit source]
Some members of the public enjoy the constant wedgie feeling this type of underwear gives. Also, this underwear should be the only underwear legally sold to hot women. However, it is oftern sold to bemused shoppers who end up using it as a slingshot.