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Crack is that thing that plumbers have. You know, that thing right above the ridiculously low waistline? Yeah, that thing right there. That's a crack. People have been known to get high off of crack before, though it is rather disgusting if you think about it. This will be discussed later, but now we return to the plumbing aspect of it for our first lesson on the intricacies of crack.

Plumber's Crack[edit | edit source]

As has been said already, crack is usually something that's for plumbers, though it can also be for poor people and those too lazy to wear belts. This is stupid and shouldn't be done. Also, the plumber's crack becomes a full-fledged problem when it goes past halfway down the asscrack, which makes it illegal. If this should happen to you immediately kill the plumber and blame the cat, which will work. If you don't have a cat, blame your dog. If you don't have a pet, blame your children. If you don't have these, get a life. If you don't have this, you're dead.

Getting High[edit | edit source]

Getting high is something that happens when too much crack gets into your nose. This is probably not on purpose, because who the fudge wants some fat guy's asscrack up their nose? If it is on purpose, then the person is addicted and should seek medical help. However, if for some reason you want to try getting high off of crack, here's what to do.

  1. Hire a plumber. You'll probably need to break a pipe to do this. Blame the child. It's easy.
  2. While said plumber is working on the pipe, sniff his crack.
  3. Be high
  4. Don't worry as he takes your wallet, house, and wife.

Getting Even[edit | edit source]

After being high, your life generally sucks. You should probably make an effort to fix this, because life sucking generally sucks. So, go up to the plumber and demand your money and house back. He can keep the wife, you'll get another. Don't put your nose to his ass, this'll incite ideas of being gay in his head, which would be a bad idea. Take your shirt back. Go home. Rinse, and repeat.