Entertainmentless Tonight
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“I'm so glad there is a show that tells me all about Nicole Kidman's dress she wore to a Tupperware party, and where i can buy one for myself”
“I saw it first on E.T, 'cause no other station gives a shit.”
Entertainment Tonight is a Hollyweed news show that focus' on bringing you the most up to date information on Nicole Kidman & Tom Cruise, as well as trying to convince audiences that Oprah Winfrey has people who give a shit about what diet she underwent to look so not as chunky as usual at the premiere of the latest Dr. Suess book launch.
Entertainment Tonight, or shortened down to E.T (Not to be confused with E.T The Extra Testicle or the acronym for "Enormous Tits", Tho the cast and crew of this show certainly resemble them) strives to bring you the latest news, gossip and bullshit you don't care about from Hollywood.
Yesterdays Entertainment Tonight Tomorrow Morning[edit | edit source]
The show has been on since god knows when, but one does hope it is canceled soon as the time slot could be used to broadcast more important things like re-runs of "Denver The Last Dinosaur". Until it's expected cancellation in the near future, you can tune into E.T and catch up on the most useless information known to man. Regular information is given about such topics as, "Liza Minelli's latest wig, Nicole Kidmans newest dress, exclusive interviews with the homosexual who designed and made the dress, information on where you can get a dress just like it that is exclusive to E.T, slow motion footage of drunk celebrities with voice overs claiming the footage will "exclusively shock you", the latest updates on John Tesh's exclusive Las Vegas showroom appearance (even tho he has been dead for years) and finishing up the show with which Hollywood celebrities will be celebrating there exclusive E.T periods this week.
No News Is Good News, or better known as Entertainment Tonight[edit | edit source]
E.T is much the same as those real news networks you see from time to time on television. There policy is not that of "no news is good news" but more "No News Means Scrape The Bottom Of The Barrel Or Make Something Up". E.T enjoy hiring the likes of people you have never seen before, but the type of people that even Ghandi would have wanted to kick in the balls, and ramming there smiling faces down your throat trying to sell the fact that supposed news consists of keeping everybody up to date on when Clint Eastwood will make a new movie, and show exclusive footage of him scratching his nuts for 30 seconds while he smiles and pretends to be happy as he thinks about how to respond to that question.
Awards & Achievements[edit | edit source]
E.T has prided it self on delivering exclusive information to the world that no one gives a crap about, and recently won the exclusive award for "Most Outstanding Fuckless Wonders Of America" for the 21st years in a row. E.T has won the award every consecutive year since the award was first introduced, and always wins by a landslide victory of votes, as there is only one selection box in the criteria to vote for.