Forum:?Times for Saturday, 10 Serpeniver 2011

From Illogicopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
7th Edition
Banana green.png
Banana green.png
Certamen bikini-suicidus-disci mox coepit?
Saturday, 10 Serpeniver 2011
The Illogicopedian Times is a registered charitable organization dedicated to keeping de-institutionalized whack jobs happy and busy all day, drawing new issues with their crayons held firmly between their toes. We're doing what we can to keep our streets safe for ordinary citizens. The least you can do is read it. Pardon the toe smudges.
Retraction: Uncle Pete is the Best

In the last issue we reported on a number of disturbing developments affecting our brethren and sistren over on Unclepeteia. In the story in question it was reported that Frosty had left Pete in disgust and pledged his undying love to ?pedia. Well, perhaps not. There might have been another story about the undying love thing.

In any event, after posting a rather dramatic goodbye message on the Village Dump, Frosty recanted his words later the same day, citing lack of a real life to keep him occupied.

So, to sum up, despite being a poncing drama queen, Uncle Pete is still the best.

Oh, and welcome to the fourth edition of the ?Times reboot. We've now officially surpassed the output of the dearly departed IllogiTimes. And before you accuse us of bragging or egomania, we're not saying we're better than version 1.0: only that we suck marginally less.

My Considered Opinion
By Stephen Ambrose

Just the good ol' boys, never meanin' no harm. Beats all you've ever saw, been in trouble with the law since the day they was born. Straight'nin' the curve, flat'nin' the hills. Someday the mountain might get 'em, but the law never will. Makin' their way, the only way they know how, that's just a little bit more than the law will allow. Just good ol' boys, wouldn't change if they could, fightin' the system like a true modern day Robin Hood.

By Some user

Well, it's the end of another week and Wikia is still in business, probably due to large, obnoxious ads for Seth Rogan movies on the front page. No one was laid off (that we know of), but a few people probably got better jobs elsewhere, like at McDonalds or something. Talk page requests to Staff went unanswered by the Staff members in question, but were promptly and cheerfully answered by unpaid volunteers... probably because they'd like to become paid employees who don't bother answering their own talk page messages because they're too busy making idle chitchat in IRC with other lazy employees.

See you next week, if Wikia is still in business. If it isn't, I'll still see you next week, but with an expanded, 2-column extravaganza with large, colour pictures and a special victory theme composed by none other than Cluck Loonie. Cheers.

I have your dog.

To you know who you are: I have your dog. I took her this morning, and she didn't resist at all, just smelled my feet and gleefully followed, wagging her tail and drooling all the way. If you haven't yet, you will soon notice a horrible absence in your life with her missing, so if you want her back, well... too bad. I am not accepting ransom, because all I really wanted in the first place was the dog.