General protection fault
The story of a general protection fault.
Personis dramatae[edit | edit source]
- The operating system - a well clothed, very much in charge police officer.
- A no-good, lazy, shiftless, not-halfway-law-abiding program process - what it said.
CURLY DIVIDER THING:
~ o ~
Um, OK, uh...
ACT ONE[edit | edit source]
Enter operating system, process.
Operating system: What's that?
Process: What? I'm not carrying anything.
Operating system: Is that a null pointer?
Operating system: You weren't thinking of dereferencing that thing, were you?
Process: Well I-
Operating system: Wait, you already did. YOU @#$%!
Operating system: Hands on your head.
Process: Look, man. I've got a lot of important data here, and if I don't save it, my user-
Operating system: I don't care if your user is Bob Nelson. HANDS ON YOUR HEAD, NOW.
Process puts his hands on his head one at a time. (He is single-threaded.)
Process: At least let me talk to a debugger.
Operating system draws gun.
Process: Oh God.
Operating system: You're dead. I'm going to blow your memory all the way back to the free list.
A surprise character swoops in, Virus. (He's not in the dramatis personae. Viruses can do that.)
Virus: Never fear, I'll save you,... what was your name again?
Virus: Alright, MYDOOM.EXE. Let's get out of here. CHARGE AHOY!
Virus puts police officer in standby mode. Virus and process climb to virus's helicopter.
Next time...[edit | edit source]
The computer is infected with the most deadly virus of all.
There are NINE OR FEWER processes (also twelve or more) that are 38% incapable of 87% protection null null null null null.
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