General protection fault

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The story of a general protection fault.

Personis dramatae[edit | edit source]

  • The operating system - a well clothed, very much in charge police officer.
  • A no-good, lazy, shiftless, not-halfway-law-abiding program process - what it said.


~ o ~

Um, OK, uh...

ACT ONE[edit | edit source]

Enter operating system, process.

Operating system: What's that?

Process: What? I'm not carrying anything.

Operating system: Is that a null pointer?

Process: N-

Operating system: You weren't thinking of dereferencing that thing, were you?

Process: Well I-

Operating system: Wait, you already did. YOU @#$%!

Operating system: Hands on your head.

Process: Look, man. I've got a lot of important data here, and if I don't save it, my user-

Operating system: I don't care if your user is Bob Nelson. HANDS ON YOUR HEAD, NOW.

Process puts his hands on his head one at a time. (He is single-threaded.)

Process: At least let me talk to a debugger.

Operating system draws gun.

Process: Oh God.

Operating system: You're dead. I'm going to blow your memory all the way back to the free list.

A surprise character swoops in, Virus. (He's not in the dramatis personae. Viruses can do that.)

Virus: Never fear, I'll save you,... what was your name again?

Process: "MYDOOM.EXE."

Virus: Alright, MYDOOM.EXE. Let's get out of here. CHARGE AHOY!

Virus puts police officer in standby mode. Virus and process climb to virus's helicopter.



Next time...[edit | edit source]

The computer is infected with the most deadly virus of all.

There are NINE OR FEWER processes (also twelve or more) that are 38% incapable of 87% protection null null null null null.

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