History of the Auspicious Three
| The history and works of the Auspicious Three |
|---|
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| Members |
| Charles • Harry • Ian • Charlie • Alan Xciep • Ten • Ray • Peter • The • Does Is • Barry |
| Topics |
| History Breesdale incident |
| Films |
| The Green Problem (2009) Three Bears and a Wolf (2009) Walnuts and Pears (2010) |
| Category • Template |
The Auspicious Three are a group of mongooses (mongeese) who make films for the visual and aural enjoyment of the general viewing public. Unlike most things, they have not always existed; instead, they came into existence in a magical year which was situated cosily 'twixt 2007 and, to a certain extent, 2009.
Note: all names should be mentally suffixed with "the Mongoose".
The early months[edit | edit source]
Between February and March of this magical year (let's call it "2008", for the sake of mind-boggling complexity), the four original mongooses indicated by the name of the group gathered together, and decided that they wanted to become professional water polo players. These were Charles, Alan, Xciep and Peter.
Once it was discovered that two of them were severely hydrophobic (meaning that they are constantly worried that significant quantities of water will break into their houses at night and beat them up), the water polo dream was abandoned. It was then that Xciep found Does breaking into his house (although, thankfully, he was only about 80% water). Xciep liked his name so much that he invited him to be a member of the group, and so there were five members.
They went to the cinema to cheer up: it was on the way out that they noticed a small cutting of film lying on the ground, and decided that they wanted to be purveyors of premium moving picture-based feature entertainment presentations. They had met and signed up Xciep's friend Ten, who had a camera, and Charles's cousin Harry in the cinema. They wrote, filmed and edited their first small film: a seven second rollercoaster of a movie which involved Alan walking past a coffee shop window, and squashing a doughnut against it, much to the indignation of a rather large Walrus inside.
Looking for a deal[edit | edit source]
They showed the reel to seven major film studios: only one showed interest, but Xciep was troubled by the fact that their name employed the letter 'y' as a vowel. He considered this to be a form of witchcraft, so they politely declined the offer, before politely burning down the building to purge it of evil spirits.
They gave up on looking for studios, and it looked like their dreams would never be realised. During this lull, Xciep picked up The (whose name he liked) at a bus stop, and Harry invited his actor friend Ian and musician Is to join.
There were now ten eggs in the unicorn's nest, if you'll pardon the pun, and Charles remembered that it's okay to take advantage of old people. He told his wealthy uncle Bernard that they wanted to make a film about the Second World War; Bernard promptly lent him several million pounds and the yoghurt he was saving for the weekend. Unfortunately, Bernard never got to see the film as he mysteriously died in a freak pillow accident several hours after his cheque cleared.
The Green Problem[edit | edit source]
Harry recruited his friend Barry who isn't really good at anything, Ian recruited his writer and editor friend Ray (much to Peter's annoyance), and despite Charles's best efforts to stop him, Harry persuaded Charles's (fraternal) twin brother Charlie to join.
The team was complete, and they set to work on writing and producing their first feature film, The Green Problem, which was made in six days with the assistance of production hostage Jonathan Migraines. It received generally poor critical reception, but the group "literally could not care less".
“Everyone has their critics. Just because no one praises us doesn't mean we should listen to them any more than others.”
Three Bears and a Wolf[edit | edit source]
The the Mongoose briefly left the group to go to the shops, but was back on board for their next project, Three Bears and a Wolf, which was inspired by the fairytales which its director Peter read to his son, who had to give up his pocket money and scooter to fund the film.
It was only approximately 30 minutes long, and, like the first film, featured original music by Is and animated sequences by Xciep.
Shortly after the release of Three Bears and a Wolf, the Breesdale incident occured.
Walnuts and Pears[edit | edit source]
After robbing a local coffee shop, the group decided to make a film based on an unpopular saying. And thus, the group's laest-popular film to date was born: Walnuts and Pears.