Homesick for Dis

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Slaughtering heathens is the mother of invention.

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When James Puckle patented a flintlock machine gun in 1718, he offered two versions. The first, to be used against Christian enemies, fired round bullets. The second, to be used against Turks, fired square bullets, which were thought to be more damaging.
This, Puckle wrote, would convince the Turks of the “benefits of Christian civilization.”

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...somebody gave a 'Fatheads Chewable to the cat, and 19 minutes later, it exploded. Why Heff set to boiling some water was a mystery to us all. Of course, the parasites, being of a different order of magnitude, were completely oblivious of the possibility of Spunky, their whole world, in point of fact, exploding.

A mere kiss caused individual parasites to explode within two seconds. Filburt was willing to trade sauce for condemned bread wearing a belt, obviously. Thus the vet, a cheery bloke with sporty antlers and an ascot, was inclined to put out tea for us, all the while discussing the "secret of eternal youth" with an imaginary friend named Reverend Whittleboro.

"Say something meaningful", said the roundworm to the tick. At once, he addressed the crowd with much convulsing and belly-thwacking, announcing his intention, "to run if poked, and to die if stabbed repeatedly.". Needless to say, all fornication within a seven mile radius ceased, milk spoiled on the vine, corned beef grew fangs and attacked the local gentry and a general feeling of unease spread over the whole of Greater Boston.

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