I am lying

A right crow saves for the wrong reasons.

A man comes up to you and says, 'I am lying.' Is he telling the truth or is he lying?

If he is lying he must be telling the truthwhich means he is lyingso he must be telling the truthso he must be lyingso he is telling the truthso he is lyingso he is telling the truthso he is lyingso he is telling the truth...

Right then. That was an annoying paradox. I'm going now, and there better be cake.

The Tightness

This is a tautology. That means it's tight, yo. As the ceiling descended and flames shot out of the lieutenant governor's right nostril, a panic ensued. Partially digested shrimp clawed their way to the light... always toward the light.

Spirits shirk their burdens in favor of goofing off in the afterlife. They thread conversations so that no mortal may find Finns. Every single day, they scream in my head, banging off the sides, rattling their tin cups against the backs of my eyeballs, and earballs.

Longitudinally speaking, we all have our bears to burden, out standing in our fields, hands in pockets.

“Not'ing to do? No place to go? Waiting forrrr de bus?”

~ Denny the Great when speaking to a bunch of shiftless machine operators standing around like they have no idea which direction to crap in

Grinning fools with ornamental high-density head gear damn us with each motion of their flippers. Cast them off! Allow noses to be shamelessly poached, for it is valuable, and may feed the greed of depraved aliens. Is it on TV now?

Let's watch: