Karate Jesus

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Karate Jesus (right) first came to public attention when he destroyed Adolf Hitler Jr..

Karate Jesus is a big Jesus for a big world. He's the current manifestation of Jesus, having assumed his holy mantel in 1963. He was preceded by Vampire Jesus, and replaced the Holy Bloodsucker when he had a "light-based industrial accident while on the job". Vampire Jesus was most notable for ending both world wars. He was able to do this because both Kaiser Wilhelm and [[Adolf Hitler] were regular sized.

Conspiracy theorists speculate that Vampire Jesus sacrificed himself in order to manifest as a 406 foot tall martial arts master capable of fighting Adolf Hitler Jr., who was himself over 400 feet of insane, artificially intelligent cyborg evil. In any case, the documented battle of the titans was captured on video by military sources and thousands of people with cell phones.

It was on November 3, 1980 in the city of Brunswick, Canadia that Karate Jesus met Adolf Hitler Jr. and engaged him in mortal combat. At stake was the future of mankind, for Juniors evil plans of revenge against most of Europe and the United States were simply Satans opening volley against all that is good and holy. Especially beer.

Although Junior was a 438 foot cyborg with state of the art weapons systems and a heart of pure evil, Karate Jesus had the grace of God and martial arts. Today military strategists credit the KJs years of training with Chuck Norris and His purchase of every exercise product and DVD involving the Tae Kwon Do master with being the foundation of both His ministry, and His ability to kick 438 feet of insane Nazi ass.