LINUXOS

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LINUXOS is the operating system created by Linux Incorporated as a desperate attempt to stem the near-aortic hemorrhage of cash which said company had been subjected to after their core business, pirate shippery, collapsed.

LINUXOS is a very modern operating system, it can both add and subtract, and it has an almost cult-like following in two critical markets: virgins, and cowboys. Its simplicity is a major reason for its stability, and is generally considered a major upgrade over Linux Incorporated's previous operating system, Microsoft Warezed.

Famous Users

It is a well known rumor that Oscar Wilde uses LINUXOS, this is a lie. Wilde is both dead and an Irishman, two things that prevent him from using LINUXOS.

Several famous users migrated to LINUXOS after failing to get Twenex to run on their 486s in the early 1990s.

Features

One of the better features of LINUXOS is it's customizability, since the end user normally gets fed up with the whole affair, and resorts to taping a piece of fax paper to her monitor, where she can draw her desktop environment however she sees fit.

Commands

Being a mutation of UNIXOS with freshly written code, LINUXOS uses most of the same commands, but in its frequently customized versions has many unique ones.

apt-get -- breaks your system because you ran it apt-get -t experimental dist-upgrade

dselect -- great for installing a system with 400 packages to choose from, it kind of goes into meltdown with 10,000 -- perfect for compulsive masochists who want to delay operation of their machines for as long as possible

f77 -- 0100 REM IS .ALMOST. AS EASY AS THE BASIC YOU GREW UP WITH. FORGET .NOT. TO MAKE PROPER USE OF THE PUNCHCARD COLUMNS END

find -- extremely handy whenever you need to grind your system to a halt

fsck -- named after the famous geek profanity, there is no mistaking using this for a fun activity.

sfdisk -- wipes out your partition table as punishment for mistyping cfdisk

rpm -- breaks your system by happily loading the wrong version of the package you selected

vi -- the Very Intuitive text editor. You'll be hammering that .rc file into shape in no time at all unless you're really stupid

Appearance

Comes in a wide variety of appearances, from polished aluminum, to beige, to black to beige with the cover missing with dust and rat droppings covering the... what do you mean this doesn't matter?

Inane Conspiratorial Models

• All these Penguins work together in order to overthrow the US Government because in truth they are part of the Killer Penguins Cult. They run around with shotguns and attempt to take over the world. But in recent years they were forced into hiding because they were afraid they would catch whatever made George Bush retarded.

• The Operating itself is made of magical pixie dust that takes 3.14 years to download. Now that time period may seem like PI Rounded but it may be. Because the user was hungry and Linux was not very tastey.

• It is common knowledge that if you play a linux install disc backwards in a cd player you hear Bill Gates and Steve Jobs Cry. Ironically, On The Other Hand If you play a Mac OS install disc backwards you hear Bill Gates Greatest Hits "Supreme Techno Polka". Alas if you play the windows install disc backwards you hear absolutely nothing but what seems to be someone eating an apple.

• It is Overun with the illusion of windows. Which we all know is broken since The Xbox was thrown through it. There are several things that makes one think linux is like the best. There are penguins , penguins , and penguins and oh theres Tux The Penguin.

• Also Linux Stands for (Limping Indian Nerds Under Xylophone) why it stands for that nobody knows.

• Linux has several different versions known as Distros, because life isn't challenging enough without help.

• The Only Real Reason Linux exists is to piss off Mac Users on Dial up because they can't download the ISO's. so indeed everyone does hate apple.

• Why is not Known but Linux is the most popular way of ressurecting Old Stars such as Vergon IV and Gary Colemen.

See also

• Linux
• LINUX