Marshmellows
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“I want a girlfriend made of marshmallows.”
“atonement is best when the burnt skin is taken off after the marshmellow is charred over an open camp-fire 200 miles outside of Denver”
- Note: Marshmellows are not related to Marshmallows. They may seem rather similar but are actually completely different animals. Marshmallows are small puffballs, while marshmellows are tiny, soft creatures related to the elephant.
Marshmellows are fascinating creatures that, in their mature form, live on sticks hovering above fires place in biology as one of the most important animals in the arguments on the theory of evolution. The marshmellow was first used to argue against evolution because a half evolved soft and sweet exterior is useless in attracting potential consumers. The consumers would be driven off by the still present spikes and claws of earlier more unimaginative eras. However, after a closer study of the marshmellow it was found that the marshmellow adapts to its environment with amazing speed. with the prominence of hallucinogens during the late eighties and early nineties the marshmellow quickly developed into many new shapes and colors to fit the newly available evolutionary nitch. Thus the marshmellow has been embraced as an example of evolution and another triumph of Science over Religion.
Symptoms of Marshmellow infestation[edit | edit source]
Frequently the only sign of Marshmellow infestation is a bloating of the abdomen and every other part of the body commonly known as obesity. May also result in an increased beer intake and an inexplicable desire to watch football.
Marshmellows are often confused with their derivative product the Marshmallow created by processing the mature marshmellow. The process kills at least 73.6% of the eggs rendering them safer for consumption. However in resent years many batches of unprocessed marshmellows were sold in the USA resulting in a wave of infestation noticeable only by the increasing rates in obesity. The Government has formed a committy on the possible military uses of marshmellows and hushed up the outbreak.
Marshmellows are sometimes found in coffee, Tea, Coca-Cola, 7-Up, and even Sprunk. Drinking any of these may result in complete Marshmellow infestation. Watch it.
As a Cultural Epidemic[edit | edit source]
never before have so many marshmellow infestations been reported. They are like bringing sand to a beach on a cold sunny winters day when the beach is covered with snow from a unicorns weather controlling antics.
“never before have so many marshmellow infestations been reported. They are like bringing sand to a beach on a cold sunny winters day when the beach is covered with snow from a unicorns weather controlling antics.”