My Journey Towards the Sun

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The Target.

Gather round children, daddy has a story to tell. He's going to tell you about that one time he went on his journey towards the sun and how on earth sun he survived the searing heat, the highly energetic photons and the trillions of trillions of anti-neutrinos zippng through his body at the speed of light!

Authors note: This story is based on true events, or at least a dream I had once, modified as such that nobody randomly started melting or changing colours like they do in my actual dreams...

One fateful day...[edit | edit source]

I was out jogging with the family hamster, it was a rather chilly morning and I was starting to hate the cold and I wanted to go somewhere hot, somewhere very hot indeed to escape the cold. Centre of the earth? Not hot enough. Event horizon of a super massive blackhole? Too hot. Then it came to me as I looked directly at the sun. Why not go on a Journey towards the sun! I mean? All I need is a rocket and a way of surviving the 5000 degree temperatures and the deadly Gamma radiation, I mean not rocket science eh?

So as the hamster slowly morphed into a Cat on my journey home I began to ponder whether I could build a rocket in the relatively short space of time my attention span lasted, but as the cold penetrated my bones further, fate decided that for me...

So I began stealing the parts I needed, the liquid oxygen and hydrogen fuel and importantly kidnapped a crew to fly on this suicide mission to the sun to satisfy my childish impulse to get a lot warmer. This all took approximately twelve minutes according to the best recollections of my dream.

Blastoff![edit | edit source]

This folks, is the sturdy rocket that took me on my journey!

I sat in the cockpit, surrounded by my unwilling NASA staff which I had kidnapped, the fuel had begun to ignite and the flame shot out the back of the rocket sadly incinerating every living thing in my backyard, several neighbours began shaking their fists at me as I burnt down and melted all their fences and a rather fancy tool shed in Mr Smith's backyard. But that didn't matter as I began taking off at eleven kilometres per second per second!

As we blasted through the lower atmosphere and entered the stratosphere I looked down on the earth, it was so bloody beautiful! I could not only see my house from up their, but my friend's house and my uncles house... Brisbane!

The sudden realization...[edit | edit source]

As we finally got into space, something very important occurred to me... Humans can't survive on the sun! And because this craft was capable of light speed, I only had 8.3 minutes to figure out how to survive on the sun. Wait, 8.1 I was babbling on for a bit there.

Then the answer literally hit me in the face, I carried a seed of dark matter in my pocket at all times for occasions like this, it could easily turn the sun into an anti-sun for the few minutes I needed to turn my rocket around. So I wound the window down, surprisingly no air escaped thank goodness and I threw the seed at the sun! The sun instantly disappeared as it went black as the space around it. Using the pulse of anti-gravity that pushed us away we were flung back to earth where I landed back in my bed completely unharmed. What a strange turn of events!

Conclusion[edit | edit source]

And that my dear children is how I went on a journey towards the sun. Now will one of you gag and tie up the guard whilst the other one cuts off my straight jacket, and I'll make a dash out of Bedlam!

My journey

...back in a galaxy far, far, a Journey Great the centre of the the North Uncyclopedia...towards the Illogicopedia