Pipe cleaners
Pipe cleaners usually don't even clean pipes. They sit there and act like they're cleaning the pipe, not actually do anything with the pipe but fiddle around with it, then take the money, move to Croatia, and change their name. They just think they're so tricky, don't they?
Pipe cleaning variations[edit | edit source]
- Main article: Twenty good ways to clean your pipes
Not all pipe cleaners clean plumbing pipes. Some clean other pipes, such as straws, telephone wires (they are actually pipes that echo sound from one phone to the other), and corn silos in Iowa.
Common variations include:
- Urethra cleaners
- Nasal cavity cleaners
- Soda fountain pipe cleaners
- Alaskan oil pipe cleaners
- Inside of pen pipe cleaners
Pipe cleaners and suicide[edit | edit source]
There have been seven alleged cases of suicide that have been directly linked to pipe cleaning or lack thereof.[1] Six were suicides of the owners of the pipes, who were mislead by the pipe cleaners into believing the pipes had been cleaned and that the money they paid the cleaners was well spent. Two of the six lost their jobs because of the uncleaned pipes, and therefore committed suicide. The others were just idiots.
No law suits could be filed as all of the pipe cleaners had changed their names and moved to Croatia.
Pipe cleaners and terrorism[edit | edit source]
- Main article: Al Qaeda pipe bomb cleaners
A study by scientists or something once revealed that areas with lower concentrations of pipe cleaners were more prone to terrorism than places without.[2] This is more than likely due to the fact that another study showed that the vast majority of pipe cleaners carry anti-terrorist radio frequency emitters and anti-terrorist whistles.[3]
Croatia and pipe cleaners[edit | edit source]
| Warning: May contain information about hiding criminals and scam artists. Someone message the government. |
A recent poll reveals that 86% of the the Croatian population population are men who are or were once plumbers, and that of those nearly all were named John Smith.[4] We can only speculate as to the other 14% of Croatian people.
Pipe cleaners' attractions to Croatia[edit | edit source]
Many of the polled pipe cleaners revealed that they moved to Croatia mainly because it has many pipes to clean and it was good for business. Since pipe cleaners are trusty people, we took this as fact and eliminated the possibility that they moved there to avoid the law (because Croatia practically has none).