The WDGAS Club
WDGAS = We Don't Give A S***.
The Club[edit | edit source]
Except for the occasional necessity, this club uses only lower-case letters because capitalizing is too much of a bother; sorry Benson, Ouroboros, Oscar Wilde and any other deity. No offense, but we just can't summon the energy. we'd worship a god, but it's not really worth the effort. we're not against any one, per se, we just don't care. we've been told that our philosophy (if it's that well-organized) amounts to buddhism, but we disagree. Buddha sought to teach the world, we just want to get by. Besides, he's way too fat to serve as a model for self-restraint and he couldn't fit into any of our chairs, anyway. That's why he sat on the ground all the time.
Of course the true saints of our club are not members at all, and it's obvious why. all of our members aspire not to be members and so graduate to not giving a s*** about not giving a s***. Sainthood is conferred upon those whose apathy causes the miraculous achievement of leaving absolutely no trace of their existence whatsoever because they just didn't matter. Since there's no record, we have to make them up as we are inspired to on special WDGAS holidays when everybody celebrates by doing absolutely nothing. Well, we continue to breathe - we had to add that, as we lost several members on the first few holidays due to asphyxiation.
The Word[edit | edit source]
In the beginning there was a s***. There was a god who made the s***. the god didn't have anyone to give it to, so he/she/it (aw, who cares?) created the universe and everything in it so that there would be many things to give a s*** to and about. This was back in the before time when the god did give a s***.
This god made humans in its own image but eventually lost interest. Unfortunately, the humans gave a s*** by this time and spent a long time thinking that there was no real reason to feel any different. Finally man invented sex - the only truly important thing in the universe. Even then, when they reached about age sixty, they didn't give a s*** about this either.
But the god saw this, and wanted to get laid too. However, being alone, all it could do was to have sex with itself and so it gave us the Jesii. The Jesii didn't last long since they were beaten down by the apathetic throngs.
The God[edit | edit source]
It doesn't matter if it's a "he" or "she" or an "it." it appointed a few of us in WDGAS to practice the miracle of not caring (leading by example) and then left town as soon as possible. When we don't even give a s*** about giving a s*** or not giving a s***, we graduate to sainthood and leave the club and its earthly attachments. The author knows that he has not drawn out any significant differences between WDGAS and Buddhism. He also doesn't care about this connection as neither he, nor any other WDGAS acolyte cares, nor do the Buddhists. The nihilists aren't worth mentioning.
The Jesii[edit | edit source]
To be brief, they gave a s*** so we wouldn't have to. they cared and as we all know, nobody cares, so they don't count anyway (or spell).
Reincarnation[edit | edit source]
If you care to, you can always come back as a sheep.
Enlightenment[edit | edit source]
Never mind.
heaven and hell[edit | edit source]
You're welcome to build them if you give a s*** either way. In the end, it's all about you so you must decide what you want for yourself. Or graduate to sainthood if you've given up hope entirely.