From Illogicopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
An example of an individual in its clearly marked container.

“Well, it's a bunch of crap and stuff, crammed into a DNA container. It's like when you plop an alka-seltzer into a glass of water, you know? Your soul gets all disolvey in the watery... man, this is good smoke...”

~ Alan Watts on Zim Buddhism

Although teleologically not an -Ism, zimizmizm is an illogical analogue of vanilla refractory Spoonerisms [1]. In layman's terms, which don't quite come out as irregularly as the random noise generated in most people's cranial sacs, a yearning for the supernatural manifests itself, to each individual in its own way.

Interesting that I mentioned "individual", as though it weren't some archaic reference to an arbitrarily selected dividing line between lumps of DNA and protoplasmic goo. Rather, I use it with tongue in cheek to represent that solid, three dimensional, legal[2] Geneva Convention definition of the word "individual". As though it weren't entirely an illusory concept, pointing to the moon, and not merely describing it, sloughing it's rough skin like a rattler in the desert heat, saturated with electro-magnetic energy... and that's another thing.

What, exactly, do we think is the thing we call"energy"? Atoms and pariticles and such, all swirling about cacophonically[3] in their little time-spaces, stacked upon one another until a needle moves on the Holy Guage of Discernment. Who do we think we are, anyway?

Zimizmizm relates to Randumbism as The Boxer Rebellion relates to coffee.

Rules and such[edit]

Fridays are special for Brucifer.

There aren't any rules, actually. It's more of a schismism, in that adherents are required to sign a pledge that upon acceptance of Zim Buddhism as practiced by The Middle Way/Church of Revelatory Epitaxy, to immediately ordain themselves as Reverend Zim_ulators[4], and to break off into their own schism of Zimizmizm.

Zim Buddist Koans[edit]

  • What is the sound of one tofu cowbell clanging?
  • How much rice could a woodchuck chuck if a THROBBING PAIN IN MY EYE!!!!

Prayers, if you must[edit]

Prayer for the Manifestation of Critical Thinking as a Common Human Trait

Suus 'crustulum in a canis, quod non valent, kitties,
A crustulum in catulo, confutuere et kitties,
Suus 'crustulum in a canis,
'Causam ex catulus wuppy est.
Suus 'crustulum in a canis, quod non valent, kittie

See Also[edit]


  1. Referred to fictitiously in the Book of Revelation.
  2. Legally, the word "legal" cannot be used in an IllogicoPedia article unless it is used more than once, and at least one usage is awkward and redundant
  3. This word was adapted for the twisted designs of the author, and in no way should reflect badly on the English language. We apologise for wasting your time reading a word which does not actually exist. Well, it exists, here in this article, where I wrote it, and I suppose it might exist elsewhere. I don't know. I'm so lazy, I can't be bother to Google it.
  4. Called "Self-kaizumption" by the acultic members of the church.
What is teh god? DeismPantheismTheism
How Menny? Jeez, I dunno!NONEonelotsa-1√-1
Religgens Bahá'í FaithBobismBuddhismChristianity (CatholicMormonProtestant)DidYouKnowismDiscordianismDuncanismFlaniganismGimaladinesGoatianGobshiismGreasyHinduismIslamJainismJedismJehovah's WitnessesJudaismPandaismPanflautismPanflotsamPanfriedismPanpolynomialismPastafarianismRandomlygeneratedismSchismismScientologyShintoSikhismSithismSuper GnosticismThingyismTzarthelikalamanagurishalikidaladunakalizaralethismZeroastrianismZimizmizm
Pillowproxies ConfusionismTaoism
Pollygicians CommunismConservativeFascismLiberal
Evilootian? CreationismUnintelligent Design
General Vanitizing & Stories
Silent Penguin's Bogus Journey
Testostereich: The Man, The Myth, The Bellend · Testostereich in Space
JON · LIAM · Readmesoon: The Untold Story · Ben: Retired or Desired?
Readmesoon in Space: The crappy knockoff · Zimizmizm · Frunobulax
The Big Bang as viewed through a straw · Gruntled (disambiguation) · Black and Silver (condensed cheese product) · Illogicopedia writer honored by Time Magazine · Cookie for the puppy, fuck the kitties · Illogicopedian saves day; becomes national hero · Samuel (cat) · You have two cows/1 · HowTo:Write a Vanity Piece · Natural Surrealist Party · Gruntled:An Origin Story · Fonchopedia · I am the Chosen One · Forum:The ballad of Monsignor Peaches · We Java alligators · Tomorrow yesterday · 9,347,829,013,865.00187 · My Journey to Illogicopedia · Why is zim_ulator?
T3canolis · Readmesoon/SAM · Fonchezzz · Silent Penguin (teh Ultimate Admin) · Asema · Athyria · Flameviper · Raggle Fraggle King · Ryan
Gruntled AKA Rev. Zim_ulator · Twoandtwoalwaysmakesafive · XY007 · Island Monkey · Sophia · Cg098
Bananastar icon.png
This article is illogical enough to have made it onto the front page.
View more featured articles     Vote for new featured articles

This article was a winner in the
Illogicopedia Pickle Awards Jumbly 2011
(See more pickle entrants)