Bake and wake

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This is the sort of thing one ought to see on waking each morning.
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Those obsessed with so-called experts should thank their lucky stars that Wikipedia does not have an article about Bake and wake.

Bake and Wake is a social movement begun by disgruntled Amish Navy Corpsmen, and promotes an agenda of non-agendized repulsive contractions, mostly experienced in the calves and the larger muscles of the foot. Initially, the institution began as 5 stoners working out of an old Dunkin Donuts in Sphigmata, Illinois. The Primary Catechoptors, of leaders, of the Faith, Arlene Jakenuber and Redondo Blitz, organized with three volunteers to staff a telephone bank, taking questions about reality and recommending methods of ingesting marijuana while asleep.

Thomas Edison's Auto-vacuulator was resurected from the junk-pile of the United States patent office by a renegade faction of Rastafarians, who claimed that the name of their deified leader is actually Highly Selassie, and became the official flagon of intrusion utilized by Church members.

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