Sith

From Illogicopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
This article was
too bizarre for Uncyclopedia,
  but Illogicopedia loves random stuff
 Uncyclopedia.png Wiki.png 

A Sith is a follower of Sithism, a religious faith originating from Jedism (great debaters), Vikingism (greedy bastards) and Darwinism (only the strong survive).

Darth Maul, Sith Warrior

The History[edit]

The word Sith is derived from the ancient English word siththan (scythe) making Sith the blade that lays low the weak of ancient England. The name was given due to their brutal treatment of any they deem their enemies or their inferiors.

The Sith broke from the Jedi near the fall of the Carthaginian empire to the Romans. Many disillusioned Jedi took what they had learned in the brutality of war and applied it to their entire lives, falling to the dark side of the Force and becoming the enemy of those that remained true to the Jedi ways.

Most modern Sith remain true to this concept, killing and maiming those they dislike and bitterly hating the Jedi and Romans.

Today's Sith about town[edit]

Modern Sith can be characterised by two things at the core of their beliefs, the Force and pastey faces. Some modern Sith have even moved away from their traditional role of mass murderer into simply being evil overlords standing above the masses, moving into the roles of excecutives, layers and politicians.

The Force[edit]

A powerful Sith gains power over others through the "Force". When a Sith is truly powerful, he can kill people from great distances, even spanning half the galaxy, just through force of will.

General Disposition[edit]

Historically Sith are known for being angry, brooding overlords of villiany and cruel oppressors of the meek; however during times of conflict they are known for their outrageous acrobatic fighting - which borders on breakdancing - lightning coming out of their fingers and being completely indestructible when facing any non-Jedi opponents, unless their character is only two dimensional and lacking any real back story.

Sith and Jedi[edit]

There are two sides to being a Jedi; traditional Jedi are really swell guys who will persuade a bartender that your tab is paid up, while the renegade faction the Sith are really cool guys who will gladly kill off your superiour officer to get you a promotion.

The Names[edit]

When a person becomes a Sith they rename themselves cool stuff that is usually a typo and gives some hidden meaning to how they play out in the grander scheme of the universe like:

  • Darth Vader (the dark father)
  • Darth Treya (the dark betrayer)
  • Darth Maul (the dark bludgeon)

However there is no set naming convention to being a Jedi, you just get stuck with the shitty title "padawan" until you prove you're not a complete panzy.

The Signs[edit]

There are several easy to spot signs of a Sith:

  • Carries a really big keychain on their waist.
  • Constantly refers to forks.
  • Obsessed with destroying the world.
  • Kills people with their mind.
  • Can leap over over a building in a single bound.
  • Is so pastey looking they may well be a corpse.

Sith of Note[edit]

  • Darth Vader - A rogue Jedi who has a paunchant for black and choking people with his mind, Vader was known for killing many Jedi and for getting beaten on by his son.
  • Superman - Superman lead a life of ease until falling into a lava flow, which lead to his nickname "the man of steel", as he was from that time on encased in a metal suit in order to keep him alive. Because of the anger boiling inside that suit he later fell to the dark side and became Superfreak, much to the chagrin of the Sith as he refused to take the Darth moniker.
  • Darth Doofus - The current head of the Empire.

BALEEFS OF THE WURLD
What is teh god? DeismPantheismTheism
How Menny? Jeez, I dunno!NONEonelotsa-1√-1
Religgens Bahá'í FaithBobismBuddhismChristianity (AnglicanCatholicMormonProtestant)DidYouKnowismDiscordianismDuncanismFlaniganismGimaladinesGoatianGobshiismGreasyHinduismIslamJainismJedismJehovah's WitnessesJudaismPandaismPanflautismPanflotsamPanfriedismPanpolynomialismPastafarianismRandomlygeneratedismSchismismScientologyShintoSikhismSithismSuper GnosticismThingyismTzarthelikalamanagurishalikidaladunakalizaralethismZeroastrianismZimizmizm
Pillowproxies ConfusionismTaoism
Pollygicians CommunismConservativeFascismLiberal
Evilootian? CreationismUnintelligent Design