Election interference
This article was spooned from
renamed sockpuppet names during RationalWiki moderator election time
to preserve their sanity
Please vote for me. I hire California's financial advisor's girlfriend to kill tiny politicians with dishwashing machines for heads crawling on my walls. If my warehouse suddenly starts changing the channels at 4am I will yell at it to pipe down.
I'm really bad at figuring out two-digit numbers. Oh no my names and identities are going up in smokes.
Choosing an outcome[edit | edit source]
I installed socialism with a blender that speaks in Spanish, sometimes Canadian when the horse is mad.
Mario's eyes are more beautiful than rainbows on a partially cloudy day.
If people tell you to pipe down[edit | edit source]
The super plumbers will be there!
Is your water running right? If not, don't despair!
There's no pipe we can't repair!
Are all the fittings screwed down tight?
The Super Mario Brothers, what a pair!
We are the Mushroom Kingdom's plumbers extraordinaire!
WAIT TILL I GET MY HANDS ON THAT FRIENDLY FLOYD!!!
Sorry, there was a clog in the plumbing of the election machinery. It's a-gone now.
Damn!!!
Reasons to pick one or another outcome[edit | edit source]
I haven't given birth to my dog but now I suddenly want to[edit | edit source]
I named my dog Epstein and I realized my horrible mistake and now my dog doesn't want to talk to me any more.
What?! Mama? MAMA LUIGI?!? (laughs)
No that can't be right, or maybe it is – my dog already has a mom! And I already did the rigging!
I'm addicted to donkeys[edit | edit source]
I got ants in my pants because I never paid the rent. I got broke spending all I had on donkeys. But for what?! I cut off my nose to spite my stupid face. I feel sorry for my eyelash lice.
My aunt's wind farm? It's capable of bboying. I bet yours can't.
I think nice thoughts about Jewish people every day but it all comes out wrong[edit | edit source]
I have very strong opinions about a minority. A religious affiliation bothers me. Some antiquated book looked at me funny.
Every day, I thank Jewish people for giving me Game of Thrones. Every day I give thanks to Jewish people, who have given me amazing legendary comic books.
I got bankrupt buying 6 million balloons I was going to give to Jewish kids from the orphanage. I love Jewish people and I want to give them my sweetest roses, and more. I was hoping for more in return. When will my most secret dreams come true?
Jewish people wished me Happy Holidays and I am very mad now.