Foon

A foon is the opposite of a spork. Instead of being a spoon with tines, it is a toon with spines. As it is the opposite of a spork, if the two come in contact it is theorised that they will create an explosion that destroys the universe. Bringing a foon and a spork together is therefore handy for getting rid of your school, but you risk getting rid of yourself in the process, hence eliminating any possibility that you will benefit from the outcome.

Others argue that foons and sporks are irresistibly attracted, as opposed to repelled, and that the universe would implode rather than explode if one of each were put together. This has never been tested, but if true it would not make a whole lot of difference. Still others claim that foons and sporks dance together under the moon every night, possibly including howling at it; this has never been proven conclusively either, and we are left in the dark.

Whatever the case, foons are not terribly useful for eating with, or for anything else for that matter. As they are the opposite of an eating utensil it seems likely that they might eat you if left to their own devices, but they are quickly becoming extinct in the wild so any statement about whether they would eat you is original research and cannot be printed here.