Sheffield

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“UNITED!!! Dun dun dun UNITED!!!”

~ Someone with a drum on football
Ooft, just look at the curves on that building.
The housing of the future. If 'future' means the 1960s.

Sheffield is said by many to be 'a city with a mission'. Unfortunately, no-one's quite sure what this mission actually is.

The city has a reputation for manufacturing steel laying off steel factory workers, usually done after the buildings are routinely flooded in the weekly heavy downpour. Speaking badly of Sheffield to someone who lives there will either bring nods of agreement, or fierce, teeth-grinding defence of the place. Just don't talk about either football team, because chances are they both lost last weekend.

Claims to fame[edit]

  • Most pointless location to build a city. Who decided it was a great idea to build on a load of hills? Deary me.
  • Invented football. Or rather, wrote down the rules, somewhat reducing the fun of the sport.
  • Made a lot of steel.
  • Stopped making a lot of steel.
  • Produced The Human League, somebody's favourite band of the 1980s.
  • Produced Pulp, somebody's favourite band of the 1990s.
  • Produced Arctic Monkeys, somebody's favourite band of the 2000s.

Sheffield University[edit]

The place where Seppy became the bastion of knowledge he is today.

Lots of Chinese people go there also. Not that there's anything wrong with that, you dirty racist.

An ode to Sheffield[edit]

“Sheeffiled sheffield sheffild shgeffield she4ffield sheffgild dheffield sgheefield shefield shefiled sheffielkd ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd”

~ Liam Gallagher

Please note that Liam Gallagher is from Manchester, and therefore should be treated with utmost suspicion

See also[edit]

Cutlery
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ChopulatorFookFoonForkKnifeSheffieldSinister spoonsSpifertulakfeonSpoonSpoonwardsSporkYoon

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