Forum:Ideas for increased readership

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So, I was trying to think of ways to force people to read our work, but nothing practical comes to mind. I thought of bribery, or better, blackmail. Threats against beloved pets, pushing them into the path of oncoming traffic (if they're dead, they can't read), borrowing identities, asking satan for help... I am at a loss! Please help! 08:59, 30 Jeremy 2015 (UTC)

Maybe put letters into random letterboxes across the nation. XY008 (talk) 04:27, 3 Arche 2015 (UTC)

You can simply pretend to be a Mormon or Jehovah's Witness and knock on everybody's door within your neighborhood. Then your community. Then your prefecture. Then your city. Then your county. Then your province/state. Then your country. Then your continent. Then your hemisphere. Then your planet. Then your galaxy. Then your mom. User: Twoandtwoalwaysmakesafive

I would rather troll the streets as the Zimizmizt proselyte. Without the hammers. 19:53, 5 Arche 2015 (UTC)

Without the hammers? Why? XY008 (talk) 22:31, 5 Arche 2015 (UTC)

I meant to say without the bag. As in, "brilliant as a bag of wet hedgehogs... without the bag". 03:41, 7 Arche 2015 (UTC)

I do show my work to some folks at school, I suppose. But that isn't enough. Let's hire a blip with the website name and logo over it for the Superbowl. That'd be great. Alternatively, we can train a group of parrots to go around shouting Illogicopedia. Sincerely, islandmonkey - go speak 19:26, 6 Arche 2015 (UTC)

Blackmail. 03:41, 7 Arche 2015 (UTC)

Let's take over the world with Illogicopedia! XY007 ^{T C} 05:06, 7 Arche 2015 (UTC)

@IM: You mean the Superb Owl? Operator XY - (Conversal :: Editations - 7,284 and counting!) 22:08, 24 Farbleum 2016 (UTC)

^^^^^^^^^^^^^

00:52, 25 Farbleum 2016 (UTC)

Superb Owl 50 and the Illogic Pickle 5.0 and 5.1. Coming soon... next week. --(AMB) (XAR) (BKYE) Sophia, The Resident Uncyclopedia Deity (talk) 03:13, 26 Farbleum 2016 (UTC)

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~ Little Feat from the album Shake Me Up