letters to the monkey

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Archive one can be found here (23/12/10 - 22/1/11). Archive two can be found here (22/1/11 - 26/3/11). Archive three can be found here (26/3/11 - 22/7/11; way out of archiving schedule)! Archive four can be found here (22/7/11 - 8/12/11). Archive five is here (9/12/11 - 23/06/13). Archive six est là (24/06/13 - 02/05/2015)!


Leave me a message 'ere darlings.

Jamaicans are nice...[edit source]

I want to get that page featured someday. Do we still have featured articles? I don't know... XY007 T C 10:00, 3 Arply 2015 (UTC)

We do, but not much happens on VFF as you can imagine. Monkey-butler.jpg Sincerely, islandmonkey - go speak 10:04, 3 Arply 2015 (UTC)
Let's keep going with the article, maybe move it out of userspace... XY007 T C 10:06, 3 Arply 2015 (UTC)
Sure, wilco. Monkey-butler.jpg Sincerely, islandmonkey - go speak 10:08, 3 Arply 2015 (UTC)

Thanks for a new Illogicopedian meme[edit source]

I.E, Ed Miliband. You should see the things I did to the Wikipedia page about it. Rwight thwen? Iws thwat OWkay? XY007talkcontributions 02:18, 12 Arply 2015 (UTC)

Ahh, reminds me of my 10 and 11 year old self... Monkey-butler.jpg Sincerely, islandmonkey - go speak 09:32, 12 Arply 2015 (UTC)
PTRE. XY007talkcontributions 22:46, 12 Arply 2015 (UTC)
Huh? Parler en Anglais? Monkey-butler.jpg Sincerely, islandmonkey - go speak 23:13, 12 Arply 2015 (UTC)
N'hesitez pas! XY007talkcontributions 23:14, 12 Arply 2015 (UTC)

Aggressive-passive[edit source]

I blame you for blaming me. Thus, your attempts at salivation will be met with success. Deep in my soul, I feel you are a Master Illogician by nature. LAR Adriator-Gruntled.png 16:57, 13 Arply 2015 (UTC)

Why thank you, wise man. I'll take the award of this category from your dog with most pride. *shakes hand, shakes paw and flees* Monkey-butler.jpg Sincerely, islandmonkey - go speak 18:04, 13 Arply 2015 (UTC)

fERRETS! fERRRRRREEEEETTSSSSSSSS!!![edit source]

I kuh-noe that you've briefly seen my sociopathic fan ramblings that lacked personality and illogic content (which is why you ought to fornicate with this article right here), but because I wish to present myself as a yewzer that most certainly does not lack etiquette, here I am. YO YO YO WUT UP MAH HOMEY G DIS YO PLAYUH 2+2=5!!! Oh, and I'm from Los Angeles; expect street language. I'm also Salvadorean.

Lovely. I have consumed the article with salad, but it dissipated into a waste product quite quickly. Monkey-butler.jpg Sincerely, islandmonkey - go speak 12:05, 17 Arply 2015 (UTC)
Have you edited Radio Head yet? It's legitimately illogical (well, depending on how you would define illogic), and there are no inside jokes (at least, none made by me. I don't know about Awesomedecks when he edited it, though.). Please edit it. Thx. Synanim1.gifTwoandtwoalwaysmakesafive (talk) 00:10, 24 Arply 2015 (UTC)

Thanks[edit source]

Thank you for fixing the main page. Would have done it myself but I didn't have that much time. Iamawesome  T | C | U  04:49, 20 Arply 2015 (UTC)

Collab[edit source]

I will help you with your userspace draft pages. Should we have a name for both of us who do collabs frequently? That's seems to be Illogicopedia tradition. XY007talkcontributions 23:11, 22 Arply 2015 (UTC)

So we're probably in the same grade, huh? Synanim1.gif Twoandtwoalwaysmakesafive Synanim1.gif (Break my front door down.) Synanim1.gif 18:50, 26 Arply 2015 (UTC)
Whatever grade "Year 10" is in American terms (Brit here -- see http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=in-bred+island+monkey) Monkey-butler.jpg Sincerely, islandmonkey - go speak 20:25, 26 Arply 2015 (UTC)
It's simply "10th grade" here in America. So yeah; we're in the same grade, 'cept I'm a year younger. They put a huge red stamp on my forehead that says "GIFTED," and also in junior high school, and grammar school. Apparently it means that I'm either a Mutant (Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters} or I was "gifted" to my mother by my father's generous donation. Or that I'm a tad bit smarter than I should be (but I'm only half Asian!). Well, snarf it. That's a small portion of my life story. Synanim1.gif Twoandtwoalwaysmakesafive Synanim1.gif (Break my front door down.) Synanim1.gif 21:15, 26 Arply 2015 (UTC)
Wow...you sounded just like me when I was 10. Wait... did you join Illogicopedia when you were 10 phooqin' years old!? 10 YEARS OLD!? Oh my god it also says you were previously on that god-forsaken website and the wise-guy website BEFORE you joined us! How are you not trying to disprove Einstein's work in one large contradiction? Synanim1.gif Twoandtwoalwaysmakesafive Synanim1.gif (Break my front door down.) Synanim1.gif 21:21, 26 Arply 2015 (UTC)
Ugh, in Australia age 15 isn't Year 10, it's Year 9. 202.142.129.178 01:00, 27 Arply 2015 (UTC) (xy007)
One will note that I have to use a public computer because my laptop is in for repairs.
Yep, I joined here when I was ten. Twas a long time ago, I've grown up quite a bit since then. It's always nice scanning through stuff I made as a ten-year-old and how hit-and-miss it was... Monkey-butler.jpg Sincerely, islandmonkey - go speak 18:00, 27 Arply 2015 (UTC)
OK. XY007talkcontributions 23:52, 27 Arply 2015 (UTC)
Wow... to fathom how intellectually capable you were of sodomizing the internet at that age... Then again, I was able to recite the alphabet backwards when i was 5. Synanim1.gif Twoandtwoalwaysmakesafive Synanim1.gif (Break my front door down.) Synanim1.gif 03:38, 28 Arply 2015 (UTC)
Um... hello? FYI, You're no longer in Big Brother. Synanim1.gif Twoandtwoalwaysmakesafive Synanim1.gif (Break my front door down.) Synanim1.gif 17:46, 17 Aym 2015 (UTC)
Hey there. It seems that Illogicopedia was an April holiday thing; I have now returned to normal levels of apathy for this site. Monkey-butler.jpg Sincerely, islandmonkey - go speak 17:54, 17 Aym 2015 (UTC)

Argh, dude, you understand my pain[edit source]

Thanks for taking care of that edit. I wanted to delete that extra stuff myself but couldn't figure out how to put it nicely to 'em. I guess I'm just not as good as you at being brutally honest. Nervousness everywhere, gaaaah. Decks.png ~ Good tidings! ~ 14:22, 27 Aym 2015 (UTC)

ROFLMMFAO (rolling on floor laughing my motherf*cking ass off). I kuh-new that would happen anytime soon. XD Synanim1.gif Twoandtwoalwaysmakesafive Synanim1.gif (Break my front door down.) Synanim1.gif 16:49, 27 Aym 2015 (UTC)
Now using Windows 8!!!!! 202.142.129.178 01:46, 28 Aym 2015 (UTC)

здравствуйте[edit source]

Вы были бы заинтересованы в какой-то российской разговора? Я имею в виду ... это нарушило бы настроение, потому что, как правило, на английском языке вики мы говорим на английском языке, но не в этот раз. XY007talkcontributions 09:53, 27 Yoon 2015 (UTC)

Мой русский не хорошо. потому о этот, я сделать не думаю я очень хорошо. Monkey-butler.jpg Sincerely, islandmonkey - go speak 11:11, 27 Yoon 2015 (UTC)

Meanwhile, in English...[edit source]

How's it been? Radiohead.gif 2+2=5 Radiohead bear animated avatar.gif (Tay | Say) Radiohead.gif 21:15, 11 Jumbly 2015 (UTC)

Nice nice. Everyone at our school had work experience for the week, so I shipped myself off to a IT company, repairing computers and stuff. It was good, I guess I just didn't fit in very well with the people I was working with. Overall, life is nice. Have been trying out Windows 10, what a marked improvement. Monkey-butler.jpg Sincerely, islandmonkey - go speak 07:00, 12 Jumbly 2015 (UTC)
I have been trying out Windows 10 too. I love it. Especially the start menu. XY007talkcontributions 09:12, 12 Jumbly 2015 (UTC)
Yes. There are some technical issues still, Cortana doesn't seem to play ball when I try to speak to her. Monkey-butler.jpg Sincerely, islandmonkey - go speak 10:03, 12 Jumbly 2015 (UTC)
Well, Cortana is optimized for Windows Phones, so she probably wont work too well. No wonder Siri isn't on Mac. Radiohead.gif 2+2=5 Radiohead bear animated avatar.gif (Tay | Say) Radiohead.gif 20:05, 12 Jumbly 2015 (UTC)

I have been inspired[edit source]

Inspired - to write a collection of stories all with the one person, like what you did. The Supreme Leader XY --- Free Cake! 21:51, 4 Serpeniver 2015 (UTC)

Something you may find offensive...[edit source]

Stinky Chinese Monkey Farts. R U UP 2 DA CHALLENJ??? 2+2=5 SPEAK TO ME, ILLOGIAN! Past accounts of sodomy RAVENOUS AND RUTHLESS CAPITALISM The greatest article in the history of Illogia! 02:41, 21 Serpeniver 2015 (UTC)

I use too many indents. Unindented for easier reading. The Supreme Leader XY --- Free Cake! 03:10, 21 Serpeniver 2015 (UTC)
我不操中国。Monkey-butler.jpg Sincerely, islandmonkey - go speak 19:44, 21 Serpeniver 2015 (UTC)

Another article for you[edit source]

"Spongebob Squarepants Vs. Invader Zim" is on its way to being deleted at Votes for Deletion on Uncyclopedia, but a Delete voter has stated: "But, I like it as a standalone article. Looks like a lot of effort went into it, and the pictures are great. Is there another way to preserve it (another wiki?)?" If you take it, please note as a comment at VFD. —Spike, Admin. 108.121.162.230 12:49, 23 Serpeniver 2015 (UTC)

Yes. The Supreme Leader XY --- Free Cake! 22:00, 23 Serpeniver 2015 (UTC)

Pixelated cake-fish[edit source]

Now, what has gone on? Is there a mole in the water supply, or are the inactivity levels going up and up? Icons-flag-au.png Operator XY - (Conversal :: Editations - 7,284 and counting!) 03:06, 3 Aym 2016 (UTC)

I'm not interested in Illogicopedia anymore. Maybe I'll come back someday. Monkey-butler.jpg Sincerely, islandmonkey - go speak 19:27, 3 Aym 2016 (UTC)
On that very day, can you please VOTE for my article on Foals? Thanks! 2+2=5 SPEAK TO ME, ILLOGIAN! Past accounts of sodomy RAVENOUS AND RUTHLESS CAPITALISM The greatest article in the history of Illogia! 03:44, 18 Aym 2016 (UTC)

Nice to see you back[edit source]

I saved some potato chips for you. There's beer on the back porch and firewood to be chopped. LAR Adriator-Gruntled.png(kaizum me)Plant2.png 22:43, 5 Jumbly 2017 (UTC)

Clops? Truth has been shot before a firing squad of lies. XY007 (talk - contribs - business) 13:01, 6 Jumbly 2017 (UTC)
Crops? Youth jazz sin bought screen door the hiring god love pies. 2+2=5 SPEAK TO ME, ILLOGIAN! Past accounts of sodomy RAVENOUS AND RUTHLESS CAPITALISM The greatest article in the history of Illogia! 20:58, 10 Jumbly 2017 (UTC)
Is this going to go on? XY007 (talk - contribs - business) 00:30, 11 Jumbly 2017 (UTC)
Biz hiss mowing who toe pawn? 2+2=5 SPEAK TO ME, ILLOGIAN! Past accounts of sodomy RAVENOUS AND RUTHLESS CAPITALISM The greatest article in the history of Illogia! 01:02, 11 Jumbly 2017 (UTC)

Regarding your user page[edit source]

I know you asked Gruntled to do it, but he is very rarely active here. However, since I am an active admin, I could perform the same action on your user page without the wait.

Are you sure you wish to have your user page deleted? 2+2=5 SPEAK TO ME, ILLOGIAN! Past accounts of sodomy RAVENOUS AND RUTHLESS CAPITALISM The greatest article in the history of Illogia! 21:32, 7 Jeremy 2018 (UTC)

Wipe it, my friend. Monkey-butler.jpg Sincerely, islandmonkey - go speak 05:58, 8 Jeremy 2018 (UTC)
Cheers, mate, would like to start afresh. Monkey-butler.jpg Sincerely, islandmonkey - go speak 06:07, 8 Jeremy 2018 (UTC)